7 Steps for Teens to Take Ensure a Successful Transition to Independent Life

Posted on May 12, 2015 by Maggie Cunningham, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Before I get into the 7, I want to talk about an important “pre-step.”

I’ll frame it with this metaphor: When when you plant a seed, what’s the first thing to come up? It’s not the sprout, right? What is it?

It’s the dirt.

Before beginning the 7-step system, it’s important to address what’s causing pain and begin to work past it. It’s a lifelong process, but it has to at least be started before progress can be made.

Sometimes this means the teen can work through those struggles with a coach like me, or it might mean working with a therapist if there are more serious, clinical issues to be healed- like grief, eating disorders, or depression.

Once the healing begins or the perspective shift happens, it’s easier to picture a brighter future ahead, which leads into the first step of my system.

STEP 1: COMMIT TO THE VISION

This is key. Without it, nothing else will stick. The reason is, when you are interested in something, you’ll do what’s convenient. When you are committed, you’ll do whatever it takes.

Commitment starts with a vision.

So how is a vision different from goals? Goals are the “how” of achievement: log 500 volunteer hours, get into my top-choice college, land an internship with my dream company….

Vision, however, is the “why.” It’s the big picture, and goes beyond career aspirations. What do I want to get out of life? What kind of lifestyle do I want to have? What kind of person do I want to be? How do I want to feel?

The “how” to get there is malleable… there will be no one “right” path to take.

All teens need right now is the “why”—the big vision— to provide focus. It serves as a litmus test so that they can make sure what they are doing day-to-day is in sync with their larger purpose.

When teens take time to articulate the vision they have for their life, when they are the ones setting the expectations—not their parents, teachers, or even me—they are able to take ownership and responsibility. Because they came up with the end game, they are more likely to be motivated to achieve it.

STEP 2: BUILD A SENSE OF IDENTITY

This is my favorite step because it’s the most fun and because it’s the one that totally changed my life. It’s the big one I missed growing up. What I should have started doing at age 11 or 12, I actually didn’t do until I was 24 years old.

According to Erik Erikson, a prominent developmental theorist of the 1950’s, kids must resolve the crisis of identity versus identity confusion during adolescence.

Ok, so what does that mean?

It means that they have to find a balance between developing a unique, individual identity while still being accepted and “fitting in.”

They need to figure out who they want to be, and how they want to be perceived by others. Erikson believed that when they successfully navigate this crisis, they emerge as confident individuals who can freely associate with other people without losing their own identity.

STEP 3: EXPLORE CAREER PATHS

One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Howard Thurman, who was an influential philosopher, educator, and civil rights leader during the mid 20th century. He said:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

It is my firm belief that if you love something, you can find a way to make a living doing it. It may take some creative thinking, and may not look exactly how you picture it, but I believe it’s possible.

Once teens understand their unique identity, which they worked on in the previous step, they will be able to explore possible career fields with a greater sense of direction.

Choosing the right career for you is much more complex than just picking something you are good at or interested in.

For example, I’m a whiz when it comes to personal finance…budgets, saving, credit, investments…but was miserable working at a credit union. That’s because it didn’t provide freedom of time and location OR a creative, inspiring environment- all things that I need to do my best work.

So in this step, teens use the identity work they did to cross reference their values, interests, strengths, and desires to get an idea of what they might like to do.

STEP 4: PLAN FOR CONTINUED LEARNING

Whether it’s a traditional 4-year college, vocational school, or some other form of professional training program, teens should pursue specialized continued learning based on their desired career.

Yes, there are many ways to jump into a career without higher/continued education.. but chances are, at this point, your teen will be SUPER PUMPED about their potential career path, and will want to submerse themselves in learning about it so that they can be the best they can be.

So, especially if they are shooting for traditional college, there’s a lot that goes into this step, including things that build up to it, like making sure to get good grades and score high on the SAT or ACT.

There’s also the matter of PAYING for it. This means finding and applying for every available scholarship, seeking financial aid packages, or even working a part-time job to save up money.

Ok, so let’s say the teen is prepared academically and financially for the next step in learning. How are they supposed to know which TYPE of learning to pursue and which of the thousands of academic institutions is the right choice?

That’s where the previous steps come back into play— the teen has already built a foundation that will help inform that decision.

Based on the career exploration work they’ve done, they will know, or be able to find out, what type of continued learning is required or preferred for the career they have in mind. Going a step beyond that, they will be able to narrow the search down even further to make the choice best suited to their personality type and work style, which they determined in step 2.

THAT means that the chances of them picking the wrong program go WAY down, which also means the chances of wasting money on the wrong program goes WAY down.

STEP 5: LEARN TO SELF-MARKET

Teens looking to graduate soon are facing staggering rates of unemployment and underemployment- meaning they are either highly skilled but working in a low-paying job, they are highly skilled but working in a low-skill job, or they are working part time, but would rather be working full time.

Because of unemployment, underemployment, lower wages, and the cost of higher education, recent graduates are facing significant financial instability, causing them to rely on others- primarily their parents- for support.

In fact, according to the New York Times: “One in five people in their 20s and early 30s is currently living with his or her parents. And 60 percent of all young adults receive financial support from them. That’s a significant increase from a generation ago, when only one in 10 young adults moved back home and few received financial support.”

So how can a teen avoid being one of those statistics? By standing out in the crowd and learning to market themselves.

What is marketing anyway? It’s delivering the right message, to the right audience at the right time.

The teen already know what makes up their identity, and they know what career they are targeting, so now they have to build a personal brand to reflect that, so that they can deliver their message to the right audience at the right time.

Their personal brand will be how they present themselves to the world should reflect their skills, interests, and what makes them uniquely valuable.

People work with people they know, like, and trust. So now is the time to learn how to develop genuine connections, build a contact list, and keep in touch on a regular basis.

STEP 6: FILL THE SKILL GAP

So now, the teen has a clear understanding of who they are and where they are now, and they have a good idea of where they want to go. The next step is for them to assess what they need to do or have to move forward toward their goals. What’s missing that will help them succeed as they move forward?

For example, what about life skills for independence? Budgeting and personal finance….cleaning… cooking…laundry….hygiene?! It may seem like these basics are a no-brainer, but it’s better to make sure your teen has them down than to wrongly assume that they how to take care of themselves.

Also, what about skills for professional success? Does your teen know how to manage their time well? Are they organized?

They could also develop skills for personal wellness, like stress management and healthy eating.

Finally, in addition to the continued education I mentioned earlier, your teen could also develop skills not related to their field of study that could increase the value of their professional skill set. These are the things like graphic design, coding, writing, or public speaking. No matter what your job, skills like those always come in handy.

STEP 7: SET UP SYSTEMS AND SUPPORT

At this point there has been some serious work done. However, in order to ensure continued success, teens must build a strong support system.

This starts at home by communicating with the family. Make sure everyone knows what the teen is working to accomplish, because it will create natural accountability. If someone notices something slipping, they can gently remind the teen of the vision they set for themselves.

The support system goes one step further when the teen actively seeks out friends who have an equal- or greater- level of ambition. This keeps the teen motivated and pushes them to keep working for their dreams.

Aside from building a support system of relationships, teens can also set up habits and systems that keep them checking in with their vision and progress on a regular basis.

These 7 steps, coupled with the gentle guidance and accountability of coaching, will allow any willing teen to make a successful transition into independent life and find happiness in a career uniquely suited to their strengths and interests.