You're Not a Desert Hedgehog

Posted on May 01, 2015 by Stephanie Hatton, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

Have you ever looked back on an event or conversation and realized, sheepishly, that you perhaps didn’t act or speak from the highest version of yourself? That you said or did things that you aren’t proud of and that you know don’t really reflect who you essentially are? If you are honest, do you make a practice of this?

Every day, every interaction and every conversation we have presents us with choice. We may not feel like it at the time – it may feel like we must defend ourselves or act first in order to avoid being hurt or ignored. But in reality we have a choice. Sometimes in fact how we react is the only thing we do have a choice about. So what do you choose? Do you choose to think, act and speak from your highest self with all the vulnerability that entails? Or do you choose to allow your survival mechanisms to run the show? To allow those ways of being that we evolved as children and cemented with age to intercede and overshadow your best version of you?

You aren’t a desert hedgehog. The desert hedgehog is one of the smallest hedgehogs – a tiny little critter, 5-11" long, indigenous to the harsh regions of the northern Sahara Desert and middle east countries such as Iran, Libya and Yemen. When the desert hedgehog is born, its prickly spines are below the skin. As it grows, its protective spines emerge and stiffen. When threatened, the hedgehog rolls into a ball and presents a prickly surface designed to make it look larger and more menacing than it is in order to protect itself.

What are your survival mechanisms? What automatic ways of being do you default to in an effort to protect yourself? In ontological coaching we look at them. We name them. We distinguish them from our Essence so that we can become adept at recognizing when they are running the show. Getting some elevation this way with our behavior allows us to hold ourselves with compassion but also to hold ourselves accountable. To say: Oh, there she is – it’s my inner desert hedgehog asserting herself. I’m feeling threatened or vulnerable and I’m going to roll into a spiny ball for safety. Does that serve me? Is that who I want to be in this situation?

So as you move through your day, think about your inner hedgehog. Think about whether presenting yourself to the world as a spiny ball is in your best interest or the best interest of those around you. Ask yourself if, just maybe, allowing yourself to be seen might not be the higher choice. What would be possible if you allowed people to see your little black snout, your larger-than-imagined ears, your stubby little legs? Might they find you endearing and engaging and might you make them smile? You can’t remove your spines – they do serve you at times, but you can choose to unfurl and allow your inner hedgehog to appear – to operate from your highest version of self.