Learning to be Present
Posted on March 11, 2015 by Tim Peterson, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Strategies to help one learn how to be more in the moment
Most of us are out of touch with our environment, lost in thought, going through the motions on auto pilot, lost in the past or future, worried about work or money or the state of the world, but rarely present in the moment. Being in the moment is about being right where you are, focused. Being with the person you’re talking with or interacting with. Feeling the warmth of the sun. Feeling centered and quiet. Often times, being out of the moment or impacted by thoughts causes mental or emotional discomfort. Learning to bring oneself back to the present can help bring a sense peace or calm.
Noise is a constant in our lives that we choose to participate in. We start with noise as soon as we wake up by turning on a TV, computer, phone, Ipad or radio. Some of us wake up to noise with a clock radio. More noise while eating breakfast. More noise in the car. A radio or computer at work. Back in the car and it’s more noise as soon as we get home with the TV, computer or music. Many of us watch TV until we fall asleep and some even sleep with the TV on. We are in a constant state of noise or taking part in some form of distraction which can include texting, phone calls and web surfing. It distracts us. It helps us avoid our thoughts and feelings. It causes us to avoid paying attention to ourselves. There is little time spent with the quiet or just being with ourselves.
Thoughts: When you become more mindful, the noise of the mind will have much less impact on you. The mind is a machine. Most of us have little control over it. If you pay attention you’ll notice the same thoughts rotating through your mind over and over again. Thoughts often control us and/or impact us emotionally. A thought comes up, we jump on it and it takes us for a ride which can snow ball, get out of control or intensify. Ex.) A thought surfaces about a past relationship or an ex that you miss. You start to feel sad or depressed. In no time it begins to escalate and gets progressively, worse leaving you feeling horrible about something that happened a long time ago. One minute you’re feeling fine. The next minute you’re feeling deeply depressed all because a thought arose and you allowed it to escalate.
Developing Mindfulness: Turning off the noise for a while each day and paying attention to what comes up can help you develop mindfulness. Just being with yourself with the quiet for a while is of value rather than being exposed to the ceaseless distractions of noise.
You can do it while walking, paying attention to your steps. Feeling and smelling the air. Some people utilize “Walking meditation”, but a simpler approach is to pay attention to your steps or the environment as you walk, rather than allowing your mind to run rampant.
Some practice mindfulness techniques when doing chores. While washing the dishes, feel the suds and the water temperature. Pay attention to your posture and your thoughts, doing your best to stay focused on the sensations during the act.
Learn to pay attention to your thoughts, your internal environment and reactions in general. Are you getting anxious? Notice how your body feels or your belly feels when anxious. Notice it and start to work with it. Being mindful can be utilized in conversations. Listening rather than talking as much. Being with the person. Meditation can be used to help you learn to pay attention; stay focused or be more present. Practicing mindfulness can be practiced and utilized in every aspect of one’s life.
Value of being present or paying attention: Most of us are on auto pilot. When you are present, you begin to act, rather than react. Things you might react to are triggers, thoughts, and interactions with people, friends, family, co workers etc and even pets. Being present, you think before you act, say something or fall into an emotional abyss of depression, anger or anxiety. A thought comes up, you notice it as a thought and you decide not allow it to snowball and consume you. Instead, you let it pass. You begin to feel more in control. You may also begin to feel more present as well as calm. You develop the ability to bring yourself back to the present when you start to get uptight or feel like you’re losing control or losing your cool. By developing the skill of mindfulness and paying attention, you learn how to pull out of that and become centered again.
