How To Make Decisions You’ll Never Regret?

Posted on March 08, 2015 by Inga Ruzgyte Colan, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

The other day my friend and I had a discussion about making tough decisions. We talked about the difficulties on making life altering choices, especially when it involves other stakeholders- like spouses and kids. It’s not easy to bring everyone on the same path you want to follow- not easy, but definitely possible.

First, let’s talk about the decision making process itself. We make decisions- big and small- everyday. Most of the time it’s easy for us to decide between the choices we have and move on with our day. Once in a while, however, life puts us in a situation were we have to make some tough choices. Big decisions, such as buying a house, getting married, changing jobs or careers, moving to a new city, affect our lives tremendously and we want to find the best solution for today’s situation as well as for our future.

When faced with a big life decision, I tend to over-think and over-analyze all aspects of choices involved. The longer I ponder between the choices, the more frustrated and blocked I get, unable to come up with a final decision. That’s when I remind myself to take a deep breath and use the decision making steps that helped me in the past. Here are a few of them that I find particularly helpful when I try to make hard decisions:
◾Evaluate your needs and your values. We all have different needs and values at different points of our lives. Your core values are the foundation for every decision you make. What is most important for you at this moment? What is it that you just cannot live without? What are your dreams and desires? What is your Life’s Vision?
◾Review pros and cons of your choices. Consider possible positive and negative aspects of your decision: What’s the best that can happen? How will this opportunity enrich your life? Does it address your needs and values? What’s the worst that can happen and what are the chances of it happening? How will you deal with the fallout? There are always pros and cons to every hard choice. However, don’t ponder on them for too long. If you wish, make a list of your pros and cons, make a plan-B, and then- move on to the next decision making steps. Otherwise, you will get stuck in the “over-analyzing stage”.
◾How will you feel? More than 15 years ago I was awarded an opportunity to move to the United States from my beautiful home country Lithuania. I had 4 days to make a decision. I remember asking everyone I met- “What should I do?” I got answers from “You should go for it” to “That’s risky” to “Do what you think you want.” None of them satisfied me. On the last day I remember sitting quietly in my room and thinking to myself- “How would I feel if I move?”-“I would feel terrified, lonely, and maybe a little bit exited”, I thought. Then I asked myself- “How would I feel if I stay”? I was still in college and had a whole life ahead of me. I was surrounded by family and friends,- “I would feel good”. But there was this one thought in my head that I couldn’t let go- “But I will never know, what life in the U.S. looks like”. Right then I knew I had to find out! So, how would you feel if you make your decision one way or the other? Can you live with yourself after this decision? Will you regret it if you pass it up?
◾Pretend that you are advising a friend. Our short-term emotions can get in the way and cloud our judgment. To break free, try to pretend that a friend is in similar situation and needs your help. When we look at the situation as a “friend” it allows us to put aside our own personal distractions. We can concentrate on a problem that needs to be solved and see it from different point of view. What would you advise your friend?
◾Flip the coin. I love this idea because it puts you in touch with your real desires. Grab a coin and assign one decision choice to heads and the other to tails. Flip the coin and before it lands, pay attention to side you hope it lands on. More than likely, this immediate reaction is what you truly want to do. Something deep inside you- your gut feeling? intuition? the sixth sense?- is pulling you in that direction.
◾Don’t look back! After you make careful considerations, it is time to make the decision. Once the decision is made- Don’t go back to it! Commit to one path and take action. Wavering will almost guarantee that the outcome you desire won’t be accomplished.

When you have others who may be affected by these decisions, you may want to have them complete these steps too or do them together so everyone’s needs are met. Recognize and discuss each other’s desires and fears. Make your Family’s Vision to help you find a good foundation and compromise. Once you find common ground, commit to the decision together and support each other all the way through!

Making a decision is like trying to predict the future: there are no guarantees that you are making the “right” choice. All you can do is to make the best “present” decision you can and move on. And if it turns out that the outcome is not what you expected, remember, that most decisions are reversible, or can be replaced by new ones.