Change is possible
Posted on February 26, 2015 by Tim Peterson, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
A quick and simple discussion of the fundamentals of change
Change can be really tough, depending on what it is you want to change, but it is absolutely doable and possible.
Knowing what you want to change, taking action and staying mindful are all critically important steps on the road to change.
One of the first things a person must do in this process is decide exactly what you want to change. Do you want to be more loving, patient, or calm? Do you want to feel more confident or fearless? Do you want to feel less anxious or angry?
How important is it to feel different, better, more effective in life/with family/with work/with self? Are you ok with a small amount of change over the course of 10 or 20 years? Or do you want to be a better communicator, more loving, more patient or more confident over the next few months?
In many cases, long term habits or patterns are dug in deep. Some have developed for years, even decades. If you’ve developed patterns for decades, it can take time and serious effort to change that.
Small changes are valuable and critical in terms of altering the standard response or pattern. Doing this creates new set points. It interrupts old behaviors and “go to” or automatic responses and starts to replace them with new ones.
Example: When angered, you will generally yell or curse at your pet, child, friend, relative, mate or a rude driver. Next time you’re angered, hold back from responding in the usual way. Refrain from yelling like you usually do. Do something different, like be quiet. Or laugh. In the beginning, it will likely be a struggle to hold back or do something other than your usual go to response. But it is important to remember, that even a response that is just a little bit different is of value in terms of breaking old patterns and habits.
If you put a little effort in, you will probably still change, but will take a long time. If you put a really big effort into it which includes paying attention to triggers, paying attention to internal and external dialogue and choosing a different response at all times, you will facilitate change much more rapidly.
Example: Michael Jordan didn’t become one of the greats by working at it half-heatedly or a few minutes a day. He spent many hours a day, everyday working on improving his game. The more work and effort you put into yourself and your goals, the faster they will manifest.
Paying attention is critical. Most of us are on auto pilot and “react” rather than “act” or choose to act. With practice and awareness, you teach yourself to act or utilize behavior that you actually choose, rather than reacting to an unconscious trigger.
Journaling is of value in this process. It can be very helpful to process your efforts and see them in black and white. In essence, you are discussing it with yourself, keeping track of your progress and looking at times when you struggle with the work or need to adjust your efforts.
