ARE THERE THINGS I WANT TO CHANGE, BUT FEAR GETS IN THE WAY?
Posted on February 08, 2015 by Bobby Edelen, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
How to overcome the fear of change. A primer for getting started on your way to fulfillment
Dear friends this is an excerpt from my book “10 Life Changing Questions.”
When you look at your life, have there been opportunities that you did not take advantage of because you were afraid of the unknown? You are not alone. Are you satisfied with the quality of your relationships? What about the quality of your finances? Is your job or career giving you the satisfaction you want? Is your health suffering because you are afraid that you won’t be able to stick to a exercise regime, or you are afraid to go to the doctor and get a check-up? Examine your spiritual life and ask yourself if you are experiencing fulfillment and peace. These question are important because they are the things we can change, but a great deal of the time we are afraid to change them.What is fear? The dictionary defines it as an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. The vast majority of the time the things we fear do not happen and, therefore, we put a lot of effort and emotional energy into something that is not going to happen anyway. I was stuck in fear for a great many years—23 to be exact. I was on social security disability for those 23 years and afraid to do anything because of the idea that I may fail. I thought that I had a good life because I was able to pay all my bills, which were the basic utilities and rent and not much more. One day I decided to throw caution to the wind and enroll in an academic program that would help me fulfill my desire to help others. Soon afterwards I enrolled in World Coaching Institute and received certifications in life coaching, spirituality coaching, and business coaching. I started my own business and I am prospering financially and in all other areas in my life.
What is it that you want to change in your life? If you are dissatisfied with any part of your life then it is time to take action. Join a group that deals with the type of issues you face. Connecting with other people going through similar life experiences helps us to feel like we are not alone. Another benefit is that there will be people there who are at different levels in the process who can help you break through barriers that may get in your way. If you are not a joiner then brainstorm some ideas about how you get from the place you are to the place you want to be. I found that coaching was the outlet for me to move from a place where I was stuck in fear, to a fulfilling life and career.
We tend to look at the big things when we think about change, but what about the little, seemingly insignificant things that need to change. Things such as appreciating what we have instead of longing for what we do not have. Taking a walk just because we can. Attitudes seem difficult to change, but we have to remember that we were not born with the level of talent we have today. We have practiced them over and over until they have become second nature. So an attitude of gratitude has to be practiced the same way. Do you sit on the couch and watch television because you do not have anything better to do? Get on the internet and find something to do, or just go outside and enjoy being alive.
The unhealthiest thing you can do is NOTHING. You must start somewhere and if you are the person who says, “I’ll do it tomorrow” then there is something you need to know. TOMORROW NEVER COMES AND IT IS NOT GUARANTEED ! So just start. Take a small step and do one small thing to begin your journey to a life with less fear. You will find that the more success you have conquering fear in one area of your life inspires you to make other changes that you would like to make. Take a walk around the block after dinner. Shut off the television for an hour and call a friend and go out to lunch. Start an internet search to find the career that is right for you. Take a risk and if you are successful, then you will take bigger risks.If you do nothing the comfort that you find in the familiar will degrade into dissatisfaction and you will be unhappy. But if you try a new thing that you are afraid you will fail at and you succeed, then you will find fulfillment and joy. If you do not succeed then you will learn a valuable lesson about what does not work so that you can formulate a different approach the next time. Moving through the fear takes a liberal dose of courage and a lot of support. Develop a support system that will challenge you to strive for the best and encourage you when you encounter obstacles.
Let’s face it, if you do nothing you will be in the same physical, emotional, and spiritual position that you are in now. Are you satisfied with that position? If not, then you are ready to take a small step and start to move in a positive direction. Choose one thing that you would like to change and write it down. Now write down all the ideas that you can think of to start the change process. Next choose the best ideas and set them as small goals with time limitations. Start the process.
Although change can be scary it can be the most exciting journey that you can take. Never settle for less than you deserve. Do not be afraid to try new things because the more you overcome the fear of change the more exciting it becomes. So, if you are tired of feeling like it is the same day, day after day, then you are ready to explore a different avenue than the one you are on. Take small steps and get comfortable with success. After you master the art of change you can take on long-term projects that will revolutionize your life.
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
Coach Bobby is a certified Life, Spiritual, and Business Coach. Committed to helping people improve their lives and design the life they want to live.
