Attention Cupids

Posted on January 30, 2015 by Wendy Preyssler, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. Whether you celebrate or ignore this day, it’s a good time to look the intimate relationships in your life. Is your relationship everything you want it to be? Is it everything your partner wants? Does it bring you joy or pain or some of both?
One of the things a coach can help you with is looking at where you are and where you want to be in your relationship. If you’re stuck in your relationship, let me share two questions that may move you closer to where you want to be:
• What is your commitment to this relationship?
• What are you willing to give up in service of the relationship?
For example, a newlywed discovered his marriage had more conflict than he expected. He was talented at analyzing concepts and looking at issues from every possible angle. It made him great at his job, and a chore at home. His wife complained he had to be right about everything from the best way to pack the dishwasher to how much time was needed to shower. He, on the other hand, felt he was being optimally practical. She felt stifled by what she considered his unbending rules, while he thought he was being helpful. The longer they were married, the more they fought. When he came to me, I asked him if he wanted to be right or if he wanted to be happy. The question stopped him in his tracks. He truly wanted to be happy and make his new wife happy as well. By giving up the way he did certain tasks or changed what he considered to be the “right” way, could he make his wife happier? Would this, in turn, make his marriage happier?
The two questions above, what is your commitment and what are you willing to give up, can apply to many situations. Feel free to contact me directly if you have questions related to your relationship and how you can make it your dream relationship.
Have a great Valentine’s Day and celebrate the ones you love!