Savvy Survival Skills For The Holidays PART 1

Posted on November 30, 2014 by Deborah Downey, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.

Savvy Survival Skills
For The Holidays
PART 1

Here we go – the holidays have just pulled out of the station next stop 2015. Seems to me that, the race to Christmas begins earlier and earlier in the year and has been doing so for the last 20 years. Unfortunately along with the season advertisements starting earlier and earlier so does the stress that people have to carry with it set in sooner.
The fact is that holiday stress can be avoided.
Savvy Survival Skills
For The Holidays
What happens during THE HOLIDAYS is that so many of us drive ourselves to perfection… we spoil the season for our kin and ourselves. Or worse we start self medicating by using drugs, food and/or alcohol or all of the above just to get through the holidays by essentially blotting them out.

Turns out I have an abundance of suggestions. I am going to break up this newsletter into two parts. Part One will be about some tips to keep your spirits high & giving or not giving gifts. Part Two will be tips for avoiding conflict with difficult family members.
I will make sure you have them all before Thanksgiving!
Please we all need some savvy survival skills to get and maintain our own serenity and sanity during the Holidays. The truth is I know we can all do much better than simply surviving the season. Yes we you and I can actually grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, mentally and physically in the holiday season.

Part One
Here is are some ideas to help you take care of yourself during the holidays while at gatherings and reunions and family events or even work or school related events.

Savvy Survival Skills
For The Holidays PART 1

While some of us actually enjoy and relish in the Christmas season by getting and giving gifts to our friends and family and associates, this is often not true for lots of folks who truly really despise the custom. The recipients of our presents don’t always return the favor by buying a gift for us for a myriad of reasons. I know whatever happens …gift or no gift…it is never about their feelings for me (or you) it is always about them and how they feel and think about themselves and their idea about gift giving and money of course.
I don’t need anything or want anything and I don’t expect any gifts for Christmas. What matters is how I treat others and how I feel about the way you (my readers) treat others not about the way they treat you. The more you can approach Christmas or any holiday or event that involves presents in a neutral way and without expectation and demands…the better your experience of the event will be.

You might think you are giving this gift to be a loving, nice or generous person You may have convinced yourself that you are even expressing affection: when in fact the gift is really being given so that you can control the person!
So ask yourself why am I giving a gift? Is it …
Because I want one back or
Because it is expected that I give this gift or
Because I want to look rich or successful or
Because I don’t want to look cheap so I buy an expensive gift
Because I want them to love and approve of me or
Because their friends will ask them what they got for Christmas or
Because they will then cry or yell and act up if I don’t give them what they tell me they have to. have

OR AM I NOT Giving them a Gift…
Because I want to punish them for not doing what I asked them to do or
Because I want to teach them a lesson for hurting my feelings or
Because they never show gratitude a or express their appreciation or
Because they never get me anything at all good or Because I already do more than anybody else for them or Because I feel manipulated or controlled by them or their boss or their other parent or their other partner? Or
Because they won’t like or want my gift or
Because they might think that I’m buying their approval
Or because I don’t want to always have to save the day
Those are just a few questions that you can ask yourself to find your inner motive for why you give or don’t give gifts to people.
Savvy Survival Skills
For The Holidays

Part Two
Here are some other ideas to save yourself from stress.
Holiday time is often when people turn away from clarity and ignore reality. You do not get a break from reality and your obligations and bills because it is holiday time. Remain disciplined because you are the one who will suffer if you go into vague mode or debt. Decide ahead just how much you want to eat, drink, or use drugs or gamble or travel or flake off. What can you afford to live with in each area. Determine (before you shop) how much you are willing to spend in total for your presents to friends, family and employees or service people and then breakdown by your priority and spending amount and your spiritual path how much you spend on them.

Try to keep to your usual schedule throughout the whole holiday season. Get you usual rest and continue your exercise program and stay on top of your bills and expenses.
During the holidays make sure that you service your car and have good tires and that your car runs well.
Eat only when you’re hungry …you can use the two-faced method which is: eat only as much food that will fit if you hold both of your hands together that’s your portion. Remember you do not have to clean your plate and you can stop eating when you feel full.
Stay in a hotel if your parents home represents a potential battlefield for you while you visit them.

When making plans with people and getting together with them always have a plan B ready have a good exit plan ready to go. Always have a good friend or two that you can call at any time of day you don’t need to explain your whole life to if you are hurt by or attacked by anyone during the holidays. Choose your battles wisely…you don’t have to go to every fight you’re invited to.
If someone tries to pressure you or control you use the phrase “You could be right I will have to think about it”. Keep saying that same phrase till they back off or you can leave. Saying this phrase does not mean you agree or disagree with what they may be insisting on. Using the phrase "You could be right I will have to think about it.” is like letting running water flow over and around a boulder.
If you feel uncomfortable traveling by plane or train or if you don’t like driving on rough terrain and to be exposed to potentially bad weather and that stresses you out , how about asking someone else to drive or consider not going till a later date or time.
When leaving your area it’s always best to plan your route the night before. Look up the directions and print them up or write them out …this will save a great deal of stress when you pull away in your car the next morning.
If you’re slow like I am, I always give myself extra time to get ready and to get out the door to go anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes earlier than I thought I was going to leave.
Besides planning the route and the trip, when preparing, start the night before and choose your outfit and accessories and have them all spread out in one place the shoes, the purse, even the coat you’re going to wear… put everything you need to take with you next to your wardrobe.
Another little trick I have to stay stress free is to eat a light snack while getting ready …like half a banana.

To mentally prepare to see family and friends that you haven’t seen in while ask yourself if you have any ill feelings towards any of these people that you will most likely see. If you are still carrying resentments towards them …wright out what they did or didn’t do to you and ask your high self or God to remove your anger, judgment and fear and replace it with sentiments of love and kindness and compassion. Indeed, instead of walking into a room poised and ready to fight. No be neutral, by asking God or your higher self to remove your anger and upset and replace them with forgiveness and tolerance. This does not mean to suffer abuse and be a doormat. It simply means be in the now with the situation. Don’t revisit past mistakes and hurts or think about what may happen next visit with them.
If things do get hairy…Remember that they have the right to be wrong and they are perfect in the eyes of God. They are also exactly what someone else thinks it’s great. Someone else likes who how they are. So just because you have issues with how they are…is your judgment and doesn’t mean anything. Sorry…you alone are responsible for your reactions…this is a curse of sorts but also an empowering blessing…cause you have the power to grow spiritually. They may not be so fortunate.

Lastly on the practical side take only utensils and dishes that you can leave behind for the host or hostess to throw out or keep for future gatherings.( you don’t want to have to try to get things back they won’t be found.)
If you have a special diet and certain requirements that you need to take good care of yourself, feel free to ask for it but come prepared with an alternative to their menu in case they don’t have anything that you can eat.
And the last thing that I do to prepare for the holidays is ; I say lots of affirmations “I love everybody and everybody loves me” is a good one. I use that all the time.
Happy happy holidays…Thanks for reading my blog …this is coach Deborah Downey from Diamond In The Rough LLC coaching and thank you for visiting my website.