11 Major Causes of Unhappiness
Posted on October 30, 2014 by Diantha Boardman, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Sometimes we get so focused on what makes us happy, we forget that we all do things to make ourselves unhappy.
You worry. Constantly.
Do you find yourself spending an unnecessary amount of energy preparing for events that never actually happen? Many of us have a case of the “What if’s?!?!?!” What if my car breaks down?! What if someone makes fun of me?! What if my parents disapprove?! What if I have a booger in my nose?! You get the idea. In the mental health field we call this “catastrophizing.” When we worry too much about what might lie ahead, it can paralyze us with fear. For some reason, human beings have the unique ability to imagine the worst possible outcomes for any situation and most of the time this is unnecessary. Instead, take a deep breath, and deal with problems that are actually occurring in your life. One step at a time.
You hold grudges.
Maybe someone did a really shitty thing to you and you have every right to be mad, but after a reasonable amount of time has past, clinging to that kind of anger only hurts you. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Feel hurt, feel angry, and then move on with your life. You have more important things to do.
You compare yourself to others.
“She’s prettier than me. I’m thinner than her. He makes more money than me. I’m smarter than him.” Stop it. Life is not a competition; we all have our strengths and our weakness and that’s okay. Your self-worth doesn’t need to be determined by how you compare with others. Stop measuring things and ask yourself this, “Am I a better person than I was yesterday?”
You worry too much about what other people think.
This is something I’ve struggled with but ultimately, worrying about other people’s opinions of you will lead to disappointment every time. Countless people can tell you over and over that you’re an amazing person but that won’t matter if you don’t feel that way about yourself.
You are lonely.
Many people isolate because they want to protect themselves from being hurt by others but human beings are social creatures by nature. We need each other and life becomes much richer when you have others to share it with.
You hang out with unhappy people.
Don’t hang out with pessimistic, negative, and/or hateful people. They will not bring you happiness. We tend to pick up traits of the five people we spend the most time with so find people who share your same interests, laugh at the same things, and are genuinely supportive and enthusiastic about you reaching your goals.
You dwell on the past.
The past has already happened. It cannot be changed. It’s set in stone. That doesn’t mean that we don’t have regrets, but there’s nothing we can do about the past. All we can really do is learn from what has already happened and plan for the future.
You’re afraid of failure.
I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again: Failure IS an option. Learning to do something new, getting out of your comfort zone, is guaranteed to make you uncomfortable and frequently will make you fail. This is not a bad thing. Learning is a process. Enjoy the journey and don’t worry so much about the destination. Have fun along the way.
You HATE your job.
Work is a huge part of your life. If you get up almost every morning, hating where you’re headed, this is a sign that changing your work environment would improve your overall mood tremendously. How amazing would it be if every morning you woke up excited and energetic about your job?
You’re impatient.
We want what we want when we want it, NOW! Take a deep breath. Time will pass at it’s own pace and decisions made in haste may cause you a world of hurt in the future. Stay in the moment.
You don’t take the time to appreciate all that you already have in your life.
Every morning I take a moment to write down five things in my life that I’m grateful for. Today it was my car, my morning playlist, clicky pens, fresh peaches, and my baby niece. It is the year 2014 and we have tiny computers that fit in our pockets, we have access to a world of information, and we have opportunities that didn’t exist 10 years ago. Right now, in this second, each and every one of us has something to be grateful for. Take a moment. Be thankful for your life and all those in it..
It’s never too late to start over. If you weren’t happy with yesterday, try something different today. Don’t stay stuck. Do better. Be happy.
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