Stone Walls Do Not a Prison Make; Nor Iron Bars a Cage....

Posted on October 14, 2014 by Louis Lakatos, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The typical introduction might involve a description of who I am or perhaps who I aspire to be and what goals I want to achieve. Instead, I would like my first blog entry to be somewhat unique yet specifically with a purpose and not simply different for the sake of different. Instead of the typical breakdown, I would like to encapsulate the type of person I would NOT like to turn into, a fear I’ve had for quite some time. This may be somewhat strange but I believe it is an essential component to, ironically enough, who I am as a person. I could list my passions, my academic endeavours in psychology and neuroscience, my lifelong self-reflection and observation of life, interest in nutrition and exercise, the fact that I am something of a film buff, my thoughts, beliefs, goals, etc. All of those will hopefully reveal themselves in greater detail with coming entries, but they still lack contrast. I would be giving you the object, but no background to compare it to; thus, the picture would be incomplete. So I thought it would be nice to take a rather unique approach and touch on a fear of mine: turning into something I’m not.

In the summer of 2010, Sylvester Stallone released a film called ‘The Expendables’. It was a testosterone impaired, mayhem filled homage to the muscle bound action films of the 1980s where big biceps and huge explosions usurped any semblance of cinematic quality (I promise this is going somewhere). A part of me takes a guilty pleasure in those 80s action movies, but then again, I did grow up on them. Nonetheless, this particular resurrection of that genre did not miss an opportunity….to miss an opportunity. This film could have been better but suffered from the same flaws that many of its predecessors had. A lack of real story, bad cheesy acting, and huge explosions marred a cast of action stars who did their best to give the people what they wanted. Hey, not everything can be Schindler’s List right? Despite all of this, there came an unexpected phoenix which rose from the ashes of mediocrity. A single scene starring Oscar nominated actor Mickey Rourke. This one scene seemed to have no place in the rest of the film as it’s awe inspiring performance seemed to move the very soul of all who had witnessed it. There were many in the audience who whispered, “Where did that come from?” It has garnered something of a following online and its clip shown on youtube is worth more than most films released these days. Ironically enough, it beautifully encapsulated exactly who I did NOT want to become and still mesmerizes me to this day. I keep it in my mental rolladex to remind me of how precarious life can be and how careful WE must be in preserving the light within. I believe in the yin-yang/light-dark dichotomies of human nature. I also know that I can feel the good within me and believe it steers the ship but I am also aware that a good shove can push anyone out of the proverbial light. I’ve seen it happen before as have the rest of us.

For those interested in the clip, simply type in ‘Mickey Rourke and soul monologue’ – it should come up. I highly encourage watching it from beginning to end in order to fully grasp what I am trying to convey. It is about 3 minutes long and please note that while the beginning starts off with the typical ‘male-to-male’ rhetoric, stick with it and I promise that by the end you will realize there is much being said beneath the surface.

Hopefully, you have had a chance to see the clip and felt what I did the first time I saw it. WOW is all I could think of and I spent the rest of the film wishing I could relive that moment again. The scene is very much sad, both in its nature as well as its eerie connection to real life. With all the horrible things happening around the world and the bloody history of mankind, it’s not hard to imagine someone out there feeling a similar way and finding themselves tired of life. Sadly, it’s also not hard to imagine someone who would turn around and walk away….until they hear that splash. Some say that the greatest disease afflicting mankind is the one of indifference, the capacity to NOT care and simply shut ourselves off from each other. It’s probably what frightens me the most. To wake up one day and find myself in a cage of apathy, unable to care anymore. I have always believed in the old saying, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Life is dynamic and nothing stays the same. We change, life changes, the world changes. In the midst of that storm, we must remain vigilant in keeping the fire inside alive and keep ourselves free from the bondage of indifference. This scene is a hauntingly beautiful example of what can happen when life sometimes gets the better of us and we feel nothing but a void. The experience of war is not a prerequisite and offers only one example of many in life where the circumstances can change a person into something else entirely. Too often we hear of cruelty and malice around the world. Too often we hear of 12-year olds hanging themselves in their parents’ backyard because they are tired of life and don’t want to go on. There is something very wrong with that indeed…..

I write this not to preach, but to provoke thought. We all have been through our fair share of problems and pain is a common denominator in human existence. Yet, there remains light. As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.” The present day is marred by the same injustice and apathy that has plagued previous generations. Yet despite it all, there still remains good in this world. I only need to remind you of the moral compass in your own life. Perhaps it is family, a friend, a significant other or maybe even yourself. Perhaps it’s not even a real person, but a literary figure you always admired. Whoever your moral compass is, think of them in times of despair and pain, in times of indifference and apathy. Find strength in their unfailing courage and graft it onto your own soul. Be vigilant and do not let yourself come to a place where you turn a blind eye to the pain of others. I truly believe that signals the beginning of the end. I think after all these years and everything I’ve been through in my own life; I learned that the only monster which plagues us is that of fear and confusion. We see it today and the world of yesterday knew it all too well. In his landmark political film, “The Great Dictator” (1940), Charlie Chaplin profoundly stated,

“We have lost the way. Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate;
has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.
We have developed speed but we have shut ourselves in:
machinery that gives abundance has left us in want.
Our knowledge has made us cynical,
our cleverness hard and unkind.
We think too much and feel too little;
More than machinery we need humanity;
More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness.
Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.”

In much the same way, today’s world is hampered by many of the same problems Mr. Chaplin so eloquently described all those years ago. Only today, it is much more subtle and stealthy, much more cloaked in facade. I write this not to preach apocalypse, but to plant a seed which might grow into something beautiful at the opportune moment. As they say, never let a good crisis go to waste. The next time you think kindness would be too soft, take too much energy, or be too time consuming, please think again. Kindness has moved mountains, saved lives and changed the course of human history on more than one occasion. Who knows, the day you refuse to turn your back; it may not be a life you save, but a piece of your own soul and the person you become twenty years from now may thank you deeply.

Above all else, please……. do not turn away and do not wait for that splash……

Stay true to yourself always,

Louis