Stop Always Being The "Friend" And Create A Real Connection With Him
Posted on October 11, 2014 by Valarie O'Ryan, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
So many women can relate to being put in the "Friend Zone." Here's how to stop that for good and create a real, lasting relationship with a man.
If you’ve spent any time on my blog (coachvalrieoryan) or worked with me personally, you know that I’m all about the feminine, leaning back energy. This is because I know it’s the way attraction works – men give, women receive. Men lead, women respond.
It’s a lovely dance.
Men are just naturally masculine & it works beautifully for us women because we get to just be. We get to experience. We get to be in the moment.
But, is it ever ok or even better for a woman to lead?
My answer is…YES!
As a woman, it’s actually your job to lead emotionally. This is when you get to “go first.” You open your heart first & guide the man in by expressing how you “feel.”
A man already knows how to chase. He knows how to make plans. He knows how to get things done. Where he needs you to take the reins is in the emotional aspect of the relationship. He learns how to get in touch with his emotions through you.
This doesn’t mean you get to lead where the relationship goes or how fast. It doesn’t even mean you say “I love you” first. What it does mean is you get to come from your heart. You tell him how you feel every step of the way on your journey together, “This feels so good,” “This feels bad.”
A man follows your lead emotionally. He can’t open up emotionally if you’re shut down, if you’re not connected to your emotions. Once you get connected & express yourself that’s when a man can connect to you.
Otherwise, you’re going to wind up with a buddy, a friend. It will never go deeper.
Be the emotionally beautiful creature that you are – open your heart & express yourself – and watch him follow.
CONNECT-TO-HIM TIP:
Notice what you’re doing right now – is your body relaxed or tense? Are you leaning forward (whether sitting or standing) or leaning back? Are your arms crossed or hanging at your sides?
I want you to check in with yourself regularly & notice if your body language is speaking “girl” or “boy.” It should be speaking “girl” the majority of the time.
To speak “girl” you want to have your arms uncrossed, hanging at your sides, palms out. Lean back in your chair, or slightly back if you’re standing (so he’ll be compelled to come towards you).
Also, notice your voice. Is it fast & high? If so, slow it down & lower it to a sultry, “come hither” feminine level. What words are you using – “think” or “feel”? You want to use feel as often as possible.
By paying attention to yourself you’ll start getting used to being in your feminine most of the time & when you’re not, it will start to feel unnatural. And you want to be in your feminine most of the time because this is where your power is!
And this is how he falls in love with you!
You can learn exactly what to say to a man and what creates the “heart connection” that leads to lasting love in my ebook, Man Magic – What To Say To Him To Create Intense Attraction And A Lasting Bond, on my website – coachvalarieoryan.
Love, ~Valarie
