How to Enhance Your Personal Growth by Taming the Dog of Fear
Posted on September 01, 2014 by William Theodosi, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Being able to control fear is a skill that most people desire to be capable of but often struggle with. Fear is like a dog...
We are all afraid. Fear is something that we all have to deal with in our lives, often on a daily basis. In coaching, fear is one of those things that is always a hot topic for discussion and routinely shows itself to be at the heart of peoples’ inability to progress in various areas of their lives. Being able to control fear is a skill that most people desire to be capable of but often struggle with.
In my experience the main reason why many people are unable to deal with their fear is due to their lack of a basic understanding of what it actually is.
Fear is like a dog. Any dog owner is familiar with the fact that their dog has naturally taken it upon itself to protect their home and master at any cost. When a new person comes into your home, even though they are a perfectly fine human being, your trusty guard dog will go off like a mad Cerberus beast in its attempt to scare and caution this apparently despicable intruder. Why does it act like this? Simple: the unknown. Your four legged best friend has no idea who this unknown figure is and therefore feels the need to warn you (as well as the entire neighborhood) about their presence so that the existing comfort zone of the household is preserved.
Similarly, your body’s fear-mechanism primarily exists in order to warn you against anything that threatens the status quo, aka your present comfort zone. This is not to say only potential physical threats but rather anything that may take you out of your present comfort zone and into new territory, whether it’s speaking in public, cold calling, asking someone out on a date, etc.
Fear should not, then, be seen as a character flaw or weakness but instead purely as a mechanism of the human body. It is ‘mechanical’ in the sense that it is an evolutionary advancement inherent in our nervous systems that developed primarily for defensive purposes. On top of this basic utility, we are furthermore conditioned by our social groups, families, circumstances, etc. to be fearful of many different things as we grow up. This may be helpful at a young age when we are still getting to grips with navigating through life, however at a certain point we need to learn to break free of, and control, our fear if we want to reach the goals and visions that we have for ourselves.
The good news is that once we understand fear we can then use it to our advantage. Having a vision for yourself that is well beyond what exists in the present will mean that significant effort will need to be made in order for you to grow into the person worthy of that vision. Growth, in this respect, means expanding beyond your comfort zone, and so there will naturally be moments where your fear mechanism will flare up simply out of preservation. In this way we may begin to see fear not just as a burden but rather as an ‘indicator’, telling us that a real opportunity for potential growth is on the horizon.
So next time you are faced with a challenging situation and your fear begins to flare up, try a simple visualization technique and personify your fear as a dog who’s intention is to simply warn you of the unknown; of the fact that you are about to step out into new territory. Once you’ve done that, take a look down at your loyal imaginary friend and say: “It’s ok, I know I can handle this one. You don’t have to bark.” Having successfully tamed your fear, you can now more confidently step forward into the unknown and make a conscious effort to ‘forward and deepen’ your personal growth.
