Dealing with Difficult People
Posted on September 14, 2010 by Tammy Hibler, One of Thousands of Career Coaches on Noomii.
Ouch, that's hurt! Giraffes will never be butterflies. How do you deal with difficult people?
We all know the power that positive relationships can have in our lives, and at the same time, that having to deal with difficult people can be quite detrimental. With this in mind, here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult person whether they are a family member, coworker, neighbor, or even a friend.
1. Ouch, that’s hot! Avoid ‘hot button’ topics, like religion or politics, or any other issue that could easily explode into conflict. Whenever you sense that a discussion may evolve into an argument, it’s best to change the subject or even leave the room.
2. Giraffes will never be butterflies. You’re not there to try and change the other person. They are who they are. Attempts at change only lead to power struggles, and power struggles are never healthy, and will likely lead to resentful feelings, personal criticism, and heightened defensiveness. People will be even more difficult when they feel threatened. You only have power over you and the way you choose to respond to others.
3. How’d you get to be so bad? Remember, no one in any conflict situation is wholly ‘bad’ while the other person is entirely ‘good.’ Everyone is flawed in some way and all relationships must navigate the waters of our own humanity. Approach others with compassion, and look past their imperfections. Such objectivity can quickly create a space in which conflict can be resolved.
4. Seeing the positive. Even though everyone is flawed, people also possess many positive aspects, and it’s important to recognize these qualities. By acknowledging what’s right about others, others will more likely see what’s right about you. Feeling appreciated and seen can go a long way to preventing conflict from ever happening.
5. Ignorance is not bliss. This is not to say that another’s negative qualities should be ignored. Understand another’s limitations. This is part of accepting others for who they are.
6. Making a clean break. Know when it’s time to break away from others. Minimize your contact with those who do not appreciate you for who you are; do not recognize their own weaknesses, and continually look down on others. Cut ties with those that are abusive. Sometimes relationships that are steeped in turmoil need to be put to rest. So let them go.
What’s one thing you will let go of to help you have better harmony?
Tammy Bush, RCC
Get to More! of what YOU want in work and life
Co-Active Coach
tambriabush@gmail.com
www.tammybush.net
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