Real Life Dating Tips (Not for the Faint of Heart)

Posted on August 20, 2014 by Erica Portillo, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I’m sure most girls could write a book about their awful, cringe-worthy, laughable dating moments. On the bright side, they always make for a great story to tell your BFFS over coffee the next day. (And they’re great lessons!) I, too, have had my fair share of dating disasters and wish to bestow some of my dating wisdom onto you.

#1. Don’t be a HOT MESS. You know that girl in the bar who has been overserved and is talking in a super high voice and stumbling a bit. Sure, we’ve all had our moments, but t’s not attractive, it’s never going to be attractive. If a guy does start talking to you when you’re in this drunken haze, it’s prob because he thinks he’s going to get lucky. I get it. You might be on a blind date and super nervous, so you want to start pounding the vodka sodas. Don’t. Or you might have had a hellofaday at work and need to take the edge off. That’s fine, but don’t do it if you’re looking to meet a guy. You want him to take you seriously and see you as a potential girlfriend. Think about it this way-would you find a drunk, slurring guy dreamy? Nope.

#2. Let him pursue you. Yes, yes, I know-it’s 2014 and women should be able to take control of their destiny and dating situation. I agree, but I think that guys deep down in their primal state like a pursuit and let’s be honest, most people don’t want someone who is too available or too clingy. Let him text you, let him ask you on a date, let him make the first move. Not allll the time, but if you find yourself always texting him first, trying to make plans etc, then it’s time to back off a bit and let him come to you.

#3. Don’t give it up right away. Refer back to rule #2. Guys enjoy a pursuit. And building up tension, not to mention your emotional connection, will make the bedroom connection that much better. This also will avoid that awful, used, pissed at yourself feeling you experience after a 1 night stand when the guy disappears as fast as bag of Brownie Brittle. (Is anyone else as addicted to this heavenly treat as me? I may have a problem.) This is also a full proof way to weed out the A-holes who are just looking to use girls. If you don’t give in right away, they’ll be gone pretty quick. Bye! Most importantly, a guy who is actually interested in getting to know YOU will respect your decision and realize you’re worth the wait.

#4. Remember that timing is EVERYTHING. You may have found THE perfect guy whom you have such great chemisty with and everything is going amazing…Until it’s not and you never hear from him again. Or Mr. Sweet & Sensitive stopped texting you good morning and good night and never even said good bye. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you. It just means the relationship wasn’t a good fit at that moment. Maybe he just got out of a long term relationship and wants to live it up for awhile as a single bachelor or maybe he’s just not ready to commit. Not your fault…timing just wasn’t right. One day the timing & connection will be spot on. You just have to be patient and wait for the guy who’s not perfect, but who is perfect for you.