Shift Your Focus and Change Your Life!

Posted on July 10, 2014 by Margo Kirtikar PhD, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Now be honest. Do you know any people who do not have constant problems in their lives? Our life is so set up to give us guaranteed continual annoyances. We get annoyed when our car refuses to start in the morning; frustrated when we’re stuck of a traffic jam; we lose our temper at the waiter who serves us the wrong dish; we hate our nosy neighbours; we’re angry because our boss does not appreciate us; we get annoyed if the kids do things they’re not supposed to do, or we envy those who have more than we have and the list goes on and on. These are all minor inconveniences that occur on a daily basis to all of us and they’re here to stay. The variety changes but they’re always there confronting us every single day of our lives.

To act as if each minor problem is a huge catastrophe in your life is a waste of both your time and your energy. Besides you are missing the point. To bring out your inner genie and yes, you have one too, just try shifting your focus a little.

Shift your focus to the good things in your life. Do not dwell on things that annoy you. Do not focus your attention on the many inconveniences of life. There is a reason for little annoyances and for bigger problems in life that make us suffer. How about if you think, that annoyances are in fact opportunities for us to learn and to grow. We are challenged when we are annoyed to deal with our emotions and attitudes. It is up to us to decide what we want to feel and what attitude to take in our dealings with our world. Some people prefer to suffer rather than learn from each minor obstacle and major challenge in life. They fall into the habit of suffering always more and more, which in turn can have drastic influence on their physical health and so they suffer some more.

Instead of rebelling and suffering, accept the circumstances that you cannot change for what they are, and depending on each case you either ignore it or then you find a solution. You can well ignore the neighbour, for example, who is nosy but at the same time, be friendly. You may well ignore the traffic jam that is annoying you by reading the paper, or listen to the radio as you wait. And you have no choice but to find solutions for the major problems that you should not ignore. You can accept the fact that you are aging and learn to age with dignity. You can come to terms with life when it passes you a hard blow, learn from the process and change your approach to life and so the list goes on and on. And be assured that there is always a solution to every problem. Change your attitude and your approach and you’ll nearer to the solutions.

In other words change your focus and your attitude to life and watch your life change. Cultivate the energies of patience, understanding and flexibility. Be kind to people who are rude to you. Develop an even mood and pleasant temper. Difficulties are there in life to help us develop our intelligence, so we can grow to become better human beings. Trials and difficulties in life contribute towards our evolution process.

Here’s a lovely short tale from the East about Sand and Stone.

Two friends were walking through the desert. They had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was very hurt, but without saying anything, he bent down and wrote in the sand. ‘Today my best friend slapped me in the face.’ They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and was going to drown, but then his friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the ordeal, he found a stone nearby and he wrote on the stone. ‘Today my best friend saved my life.’ The friend who had first slapped him and then saved his life asked him, ‘After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?’ The other friend replied. ‘When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.’

The lesson is for us to learn to write our hurts in the sand and to let them be blown away with the wind and to carve our benefits in stone and keep that in our memory bank.

The good and the bad happen to all of us, keep your focus on the good and be grateful. Forget the rest. It’s not worth to hang on to because it turns you into a miserable person. And who wants to be miserable? Turn a page, let the past go, turn away from the little annoyances in life, put an end to your suffering right now and decide to join the ranks of those who appreciate life and embrace it with joy.
Margo Kirtikar Ph.D. Your Spiritual Coach.