I Would Do Anything For Love...But I Won't Do THAT.
Posted on July 05, 2014 by Katherine Kus, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Have you ever uttered the sentence, "I'd do anything to fall in love", and yet still find yourself lonely? Read on.
I know plenty of single men and women who tell me how badly they want to be in a relationship. They go out most weeknights and some weekdays, standing around in crowded places, drinking, dancing, and hoping that one of these days will be the lucky night. Often I hear single people saying that “all they want” is to be in a relationship. A few of my friends have joined Match or OkCupid looking to find dates. They may have talked to a few people, and gone on one or two dates. Some of these people have given up soon after because dates have been awkward, quiet, or just plain bad. I’ve heard the sentence on more than one occassion, “I would do anything to find a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
Well, guess what, that’s a lie! Be honest with yourself. What are you truly willing to do to find a partner? What I actually see people are willing to do are a few things: staying out so late on a work night that they are dysfunctional at work the next day, screaming conversations with friends over loud music, wearing high heels that hurt (ladies, obviously!), and spending triple on a beer you could drink for much cheaper at home.
Now, I don’t say this to judge. Don’t get me wrong, bars and clubs and other typical hangouts a great time, and they can be a great place to meet other singles. But, if you really look at what you’re doing when you go out, ask yourself what it is you are willing to do to find a partner. Often, what you are willing to do is stand physical discomfort and financial strain in hopes of finding a boyfriend or girlfriend. But are you willing to do anything?
Are you willing to risk being rejected by approaching a person and starting a conversation? Are you willing to withstand an awkward silence here and there as you evaluate a potential interest? Are you willing to put yourself in a position to be judged by a complete stranger? Are you willing to get hurt multiple times until you find someone who appreciates you and who wants to love you? Are you willing to go on 50 bad dates if the 51st date is the person you are meant to be with? Are you as willing to withstand emotional pain and discomfort as much as you are to stand inconvenience and physical pain? Because if you aren’t, then you truly aren’t willing to do anything.
Why do you want to be in a relationship? Think of every reason. Think of every joy you expect to get out of sharing love with another person. Then ask yourself:
What am I willing to do to get there?
