Drumbeats

Posted on June 09, 2014 by Sherman Burns, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

“So, what do you do?”

If you’re like most working men (and plenty of women today), you’re probably tired of that question. That is, after all, the question American society uses to grade men more than any other, isn’t it? “What do you do?” It’s the first question a man is asked in a getting-to-know-you conversation. And if the answer isn’t suitably impressive, the conversation may not go so well.

Men are categorized by job status and money making potential. It’s unfortunate; men are viewed as success objects just as often as women are viewed as sex objects. And the fact of the matter is that no one likes to be an object. Objects are set, they have only one purpose. Also, no one likes to be used, and few like their role in society to be set. There’s a curiosity in each of us beyond our roles, beyond what we’re supposed to be, as to what we can be.

That’s part of where rebellion comes in. Tell a man he’s an accountant and that he’ll never be anything else, and watch how quickly he decides to sail around the world or start up a home catering business or travel the professional poker circuit. There are parts of every human being which march along with that proverbial “different drummer.” Sometimes the drumbeats can be very loud indeed.

I once had a 38-year old night student, finishing up his college career. He was shocked when I told him he had a great deal of writing talent and sensitivity, enough to become a professional writer should he work hard and develop his talents. It was like giving a child a candy bar. Apparently no one had ever told this man he had talent. I am lucky to have been in the right place at the right time to do that, and to see what I saw; the look on his face was of a man hearing a different drumbeat. The look of a man ready to march.

What had be been told all of his life? “You are” this. “You are” that. Perhaps as a boy he was encouraged to be successful at making money. But his creative side was not encouraged; his general intelligence, curiosity, storytelling, and imagination were subjugated to his ability to read the market, to line up figures in columns. Perhaps he was told he would never amount to anything. That his writing skills would never be of use in the real world. A child can only hear such talk for so long before he starts to put himself in a polarized role – either moneymaker or a loser. While 38 years seems like a long time, sometimes it takes that long for the drums to start. Sometimes longer.

The late Jacques Cousteau was a man who loved his work. He used to say of oceanography that he could not separate work from play. If that strikes you as childish, it shouldn’t. That Cousteau found comfort and enjoyment playing on the ocean floor helped him to make some of the most significant contributions in the history of his field; his childishness helped to keep us alive and healthy on our beautiful blue and green planet.

Nor is Cousteau the only person of note who has ever made the observation that working is playing. Many of the world’s most successful men have seen the same relationship in their own lives and careers. Could it be that these are men who have discovered enough about themselves to follow that different drummer? Happy and successful men don’t accept the roles thrust upon them. True success belongs to the man who has merged his own drumbeat with his heartbeat and has no trouble marching along to that rhythm.

Take Aways:

• What in your work world do you enjoy the way a kid enjoys racing around his
neighborhood on a brand new bike?

• If the answer is: nothing….. oops, maybe you’ve got the wrong job, the wrong
approach to life, or __________________(fill in the blank yourself).

• Son, husband, father, employee: many roles may describe you; they DO NOT
define you. When all the tags on you are added up, you are more than that.
Your task in life is to figure ‘what’ that more is.