Life lessons from a 4 year old.

Posted on September 07, 2010 by Todd Attridge, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

Years ago, I was visiting my brother and his family. Aside from an amazing wife he has two incredible daughters. At the time, Emilie was 7 and her younger sister, Hanna, was 4.

The two of them were playing in the living room with their dolls while I sat in a chair reading a book. Hanna sat contently on the couch with her smaller doll and Emilie was cross-legged on the floor playing with her larger doll.

I’m not sure what changed since they were silently playing individually with their dolls but something moved Emilie to ask Hanna to exchange dolls.

Hanna politely and quite flatly replied, “No, thank you.”

This display of non-compliance didn’t sit well with Emilie so she asked again. This time she was more firm and her tone was somewhat insistent.

Hanna looked at her and simply explained that she was playing with the doll now and Emilie would need to wait.

Not seeing any movement, Emilie decided to plead her own case. “But you’ve been playing with it all morning.”

Hanna agreed and suggested that Emilie can play with it all afternoon.

I put my book on the table beside my chair since this was getting too good to miss. Emilie switched to bargaining. She drew Hanna’s attention to the fact that she would be trading her smaller doll for Emilie’s larger one. Clearly, a good trade.

Hanna was content with the lessor doll and politely declined.

Running out of ammunition, Emilie resorted to begging. “Please Hanna, please. I really want to play with that doll now!”

Hanna set her doll down and looked her sister in the eye, “Emilie, it’s all right.”

Emilie had now put herself into an emotional tail spin and began to scream, “It’s not! It’s not all right!!”

Hanna, a little 4 year old girl with the wisdom of an 80 year old woman, reached out and placed her hand on her sister’s shoulder. Very calmly and with a great deal of reassurance replied, “You’re right. But it will be.”

I’ve told that story to many people and it remains one of my favorites. It reminds me that life lessons are all around us.

How many times have you been in an emotional tail spin? Maybe because you didn’t get what you wanted? Maybe because life dealt you a hand you weren’t expecting?

How often do you create a situation that is more dramatic than it needs to be? Is it because you simply can’t wait your turn? Is it worth it? What do you gain from it?

The next time it happens to you stop and pause for a moment and acknowledge that life isn’t always “all right”.

What’s important to remember is the lesson that a 4 year old girl has already learned: even though it’s not always all right – it will be.