New Year's Resolutions: Who's to Blame for This Stupid Idea?

Posted on April 12, 2014 by Marianna Lead MCC, One of Thousands of Leadership Coaches on Noomii.

Who came up with this incredibly frustrating tradition? What’s so special about setting your goals for the New Year? Okay, so it’s about the new beginnings, etc…. I get that, but still… Doesn’t it make sense to focus on what we want regardless of the seasons? Don’t you want to stay on track at all times and not just on a once-a-year holiday?

The tradition of New Year’s Resolutions began around 2000BC with the Babylonians. They celebrated it at the beginning of spring usually by returning farm equipment they had borrowed over the year so that they would have good luck with the planting season. By 153BC the Romans declared the beginning of the year to be January 1st. The name January is derived from Janus, the mythical two-faced Italian god who is the patron and protector of doors and gates. It was thought that one must emerge through a door or gate to enter a new place. Due to this belief, Janus became the symbol of endings and beginnings. Janus was honored on the first day of every month as well as at important beginnings in life such as a birth or a marriage. The two heads symbolize one face looking to the past to forgive sins and the other looking to the future to bring opportunity and hope as well as change and transition.
I reflected on this: It’s kind of nice looking back to forgive and looking forward to invite opportunity. It was clear that the tradition wasn’t the cause of our crazy resolutions marathon and the self-blame game that we go through every year when we don’t achieve them. So, when did that wonderful tradition of forgiving the past and inviting the future morph into “resolutions”? The answer escapes me… The energies of these two verbs, “forgive” and “invite”, are so drastically different from the energy of “resolute”. Forgive and invite are friendly, flowing, somewhat retrospective and very freeing. Resolute, on the other hand, makes you feel like you must fight for something. Here are my associations when I think of these words:

Resolute (the root word of “resolution”): clenched jaws; clenched fists, restriction, as if someone is telling you what you “should” be doing; ready to fight for something or against something; confrontation; being rigid.

Forgiveness: an open heart, a big sigh of relief, letting go, creating inner peace, acceptance of yourself and others, wisdom, love, flowing, freedom from guilt, freedom from blame, freedom to be yourself.
Inviting Opportunities: a big smile, happiness, open arms, gratefulness, playfulness, willing to do, willing to be, flowing, freeing, limitless, embracing, loving.

The essence of the resolutions has evolved many times through the centuries. The general concept is to reflect upon personal and professional self-improvement. However, by comparing the energies that these three words carry, we can see how “resolute” may be viewed as not extremely positive in its perspective. I would even dare to say that it may not be the most effective way to reach your objectives and fulfill your dreams. The word “resolute” means to be firmly resolved or determined. You are fighting against something and need to be forceful. This does not provide a flowing freedom that you want to create in your life. You may have the right intention but in being resolute, express it in a way that is negative.

Mother Theresa was once asked to join a march against war and she replied that she will not march for war but she’d be happy to join when they decide to march for peace. And even though on the surface it looks the same, Mother Theresa knew that marching against war and marching for peace are two very different things. It’s all about energy, about your focus, about your intention. You strengthen whatever idea you focus on and it becomes bigger, stronger, and more real. You can materialize a lot of things, both good and bad, depending on where you put your thoughts and energy. So, what do you think may be a more effective attitude, inviting opportunities or being resolute?

When you are in integrity about your goals, your action steps become a natural extension of what you conceive in your mind’s eye. It’s almost as if you continue to meditate with your eyes open, just taking those steps one step at a time until you reach your goal. When you are in integrity with your goals (when you really mean it), you don’t have to “push” as the word “resolution” implies. You have plenty of motivation that moves you forward effortlessly, making you become aware of opportunities that you could have overlooked if you weren’t in-tune with what you really want.

Instead of resolutions, why not acknowledge all the positive changes that happen from within; then plan how to deepen and expand yourself further? According to the ancient tradition, it was done at the beginning of every month; not once a year. What happened to that idea? Why not make positive changes all year long? People who fail in their so called “resolutions” – sorry, I have an allergic reaction to that word – are usually the ones that do it only once a year. Make it a regular activity. This way, you may not be as overwhelmed by your list. Tackling one issue at a time can be easier than combining many issues at once. And remember that it’s okay to change your mind, to change your goals. Your goals don’t own you; you create them and you can tweak them as needed or change them altogether.

Depending on your personality, you can be more or less formal about your goals, more or less structured about them. Also, you can make it even easier on yourself and get a coach! You may want to ask yourself, “How would this experience of getting to my goals change if I had a coach?” Having someone on your side to be your cheerleader while you are striving to achieve your goals may help to bring you that much closer to accomplishing what you want while also enjoying the journey.

Okay, I’m tired of talking… It’s time to toast to great endings and even greater beginnings; to forgiveness and new opportunities. Happy New Year!

Here’s a recipe for a freshly-juiced cocktail prepared by Carol that’s good for your mind and body! Enjoy! It’s delicious!

_{New Opportunities-New Beginnings-Cocktail}
This is a very healthful and refreshing cocktail! You need to use a juice extractor for the best results. Juicing the ingredients makes all the difference! It brings this cocktail to the next level!
Makes approximately 4 servings
6 medium ripe tomatoes
½ peeled lemon
½ peeled lime
1 large stalk of celery
¼ of a jalapeno pepper {seeded if you don’t like heat}, optional
½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
3 tsp. prepared horseradish
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
¼ teaspoon sea salt
5 ounces premium vodka
4 celery stalks with leaves for garnish
4 large fresh basil leaves for garnish
Process the tomatoes, lemon, lime, celery stalk and jalapeno through your juice extractor into a pitcher as per the manufacturer instructions. Stir in the Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, black pepper, sea salt and vodka.
Scoop ice cubes into 4 tall glasses. Pour the cocktail mixture into each glass and garnish with the celery stalks and basil leaves.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS:
Marianna Lead, PhD, PCC is a Transformational Coach and Hypnotherapist. She is the Founder/Executive Director of Goal Imagery® Institute and ICF Approved Coach Training Program. Her coaching & hypnosis individual sessions are offered in person, by phone & Skype. She offers keynotes on a variety of personal development topics.

Carol Maglio is a Health & Wellness Coach certified at Goal Imagery® Institute. In the process of conquering cancer, Carol discovered a healthful lifestyle that balances the mind, body and spirit, keeping her happy and healthy. If you are interested in creating a healthy approach to life with the right diet and attitude, you may contact her for individual coaching sessions, offered in person or by phone, at livingwellcoaching@yahoo.com.

Copyright © 2012 Marianna Lead and Carol Maglio. All Rights Reserved in All Media.