Awakening to a tangible sense of soul and figuring out what you really want

Posted on February 03, 2014 by Michael R Dale, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

They say that if you know what you want the universe conspires to make it so.

The problem is we are so inundated with choice its next to impossible to decide on anything -

The alarm clock starts ringing!

We need to get up and get on with whatever it is we are doing to survive whilst we work out what it is we really want!

As Jason Silva states in his inspiring video AWE:

“Once we create a comfort zone, we rarely step outside of that comfort zone.”

What’s more its even harder to stick to something unless we see almost instantaneous results as there are so many other options.
How many things have you tried that you liked the idea of only to give up? Maybe you have even stopped trying because you can’t face the disappointment any more, its killing your self-esteem.

For many of us life becomes a seemingly soulless, monotonous experience and we are forced to escape into the myriad distractions on offer: Tablets, smartphones, TV, porn, movies, viral videos, gaming, iPod’s etc…

The inspiring realisation I have come to after quite a few years of inner work and research is that the soul or anima/animus will never give up on us and it is actually attempting to communicate with us all the time. Even through the most seemingly soulless experiences…

Now we’ve all heard about the soul in countless poems and love songs but does it really exist or is it merely wooly sentimentality?

In his illuminating book WE, Jungian analyst Robert A. Johnson says

Jung’s psychology leads us back to the soul as a concrete reality. Jung said that the soul is “both receiver and transmitter,” an organ (of the psyche¹) that receives the images of the unconscious and transmits them to the conscious ego-mind… Soul manifests itself, and the unconscious, by means of the forgotten language of symbols: the images that flow from the unconscious in the form of dream, vision, fantasy, and all forms of imagination.

So our soul is telling us what we want all the time through symbols, signs, dreams, visions, fantasies and all forms of imagination, “the subtle background behind consensus reality” as Arnold Mindell calls it.

But what does that actually mean?

Think of someone that inspires you right now… For some reason Marvin Gaye immediately springs to mind for me.

The singer’s beautiful voice coupled with his tragic story and his powerful message just resonates.

SO… what does that mean?

That feeling of resonance, empathy or connection, however you choose to word it, is an indication that Marvin Gaye speaks to my soul in some way.

What way?

Now I need to start, as Mindell would say; ‘dreaming into’ that idea . This means exercising a childlike curiosity, whilst remaining fiercely present yet totally non-judgmental. It is a paradoxical way of being that’s broadens the tiny keyhole, or better said; eye of a needle; through which a ‘normal’ person typically sees the world as a consequence of hedonic adaptation.

As I begin to open this dream door and set my imagination loose on this idea, the thought of turning tragedy into beauty as Gaye did instantly comes to me. I resonate with that, its something I try to do everyday with all the shame, loneliness and self-hatred that used to dominate my life.

Now let’s get more specific, soul singing… perhaps that’s it. Maybe I should take some singing lessons and see what happens? I can begin with just playing some Marvin Gaye…

“What’s Going On” just started playing and I feel better already- More connected to myself, to the music, to my imagination.

“War is not the answer because only love can conquer hate…” that’s what I’m talking about!

I really needed to hear that. What it says to me is to stop fighting various aspects of myself, the bits I find uncomfortable and try to hide. Only through loving myself will I experience a true sense of love in the world.

So in summary there is some quality or energy that Marvin Gaye embodies for me that just speaks to my soul; I.E. has a message for me. In this case it was the above, but of course there may be more, my only limit is my imagination, which is of course infinite. As long as this line of inquiry is creating fresh thinking and liberating ideas for a more connected, empowered way of being in the world, it is of value.

Essentially what I am doing is projecting an unconscious or more to the point ‘un-lived’ or unfulfilled aspect of myself on to Marvin Gaye. An aspect that if I open my heart to and develop, will bring a deeper sense of meaning and freedom to my life. This is the souls means of communication in action. It is hinting to us all the time about the life we really want to live. Urging us on to wholeness and liberation…

Honing in on the qualities in someone we admire is a technique called ‘modelling’ that is popular in various approaches to personal-devlopment including NLP.

It basically means tuning into the energy of someone we hold in high regard and awakening our own version of that energy in ourselves to live a more empowered, liberating life. One person I modelled myself on for many years (at first entirely unconsciously) is famous basketball player Michael Jordan. As I kid I used to love his slam dunk logo, it just fired me up, I found it so inspiring. What I realise now is that perhaps at the unconscious, or un-lived level what my soul was truly gravitating towards was Jordan’s incredible attitude to failure; Famously cut from his high school basketball team he went on to become one of the most successful athletes of all time. Speaking about his journey he said

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

Now this is all very well and makes perfect sense- the people we admire speak to our soul’ and offer us the opportunity to awaken our own version of their energy in ourselves….

Though this is not where it ends… Its only the beginning!

What Jung pioneered and Mindell in particular developed, is the idea that those things (people, places, emotions, experiences) we find offensive, annoying, frustrating, obnoxious, irksome, exasperating, even maddening; In fact offer us even more information than those we admire and consciously gravitate towards.

Take this example for instance. A client of mine, like many other people, was strangely captivated by the incredible arrogance and seeming ignorance with which former president George Bush conducted himself during his public appearances.

He was particularly fascinated by Bush’s infamous ‘watch this drive’ moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCm9788Tb5g&w=340&h=220

He was bored at work one day and he found himself watching the 18 second clip repeatedly with a colleague, laughing more and more every time at the sheer audacity of the man.

Now the idea of modelling oneself on George Bush would be completely abhorrent to many people but please postpone your judgments, this is where things get rather interesting…

The reason my client gravitated towards that particular clip is because Bush’s incredible level of nonchalant detachment spoke to his soul. I asked my client to embody Bush’s way of being by repeating the phrase, “Now watch this swing, now watch this swing.” in his best Texan accent. Then I asked him to stand and act the whole scene out. In doing so he engaged his body in the process as well.

As my client got more and more into character he started to notice the energy with which he was saying the words and moving his body. It felt really good, there was a wonderful freedom to it. I asked him how he could use this energy in his life-

It turned out this ability to be unattached and enjoy the moment was something my client really needed, particularly in his relationship. He was tired of endlessly talking things over with an insecure partner he wasn’t sure about staying with. So you see despite the disturbance, which was in this case George Bush, with a little help he had uncovered a hidden gift just below the surface of his conscious ego mind. A gift that his soul had pointed out to him through his irritation and amazement at such incredible audacity.

Are you getting it yet? Here’s another example…

Another client had just moved into a new apartment in New York. Her new house mate was another ambitious career woman and it seemed like a recipe for success. However, her often outrageous behaviour soon suggested otherwise…

She would leave lingerie all over the place when returning late with a lover and make lots of noise and a terrible mess in the kitchen. There was always piles of washing up to do too! She played very loud music on her iPod early in the morning too – But worst of all she acted completely aloof and didn’t seem to think there was anything out of the ordinary going on at all. She was a total narcissist!

When my client relayed her tale of woe to me I suggested she embody the energy of her housemate. At first this was very uncomfortable for but she tried. Soon enough she was speaking in her voice, then she started strutting up and down the room acting all arrogant and aloof. Soon enough my client started to feel how powerful and liberating the very thing that incensed her so much actually was and the reason why it was so irritating – She wanted some for herself.

I asked her to tell me how she felt,

“Like a bitchy queen!” she said…

“And where do you need that energy in your life?” I asked. Getting a boyfriend was her immediate reply. There was a guy at work she wanted to go out with but she had been too timid to simply ask him. Even though she knew he was available, she wasn’t the kind of woman that just asked someone out, but the bitchy queen was!

What’s more when we went a little deeper she also realised that she must stop trying to please and be liked by everyone if she was going to progress to where she wanted to be in her career.

I then asked her to give me a message from the bitchy queen, she said

“Put yourself first and have some fun while your still young and sexy”

So you see the horrible flatmate had in fact been a blessing in disguise. The horrible flatmate had helped my client to awaken her inner ‘bitchy queen’.

Now… hold on a second!

This did not mean she started leaving lingerie all over the place and eating all the food in the fridge. Instead she spoke to her flatmate about her issues with confidence and conviction and also shared what she admired about her. Respect was established, boundaries were drawn and the two became very close. She also got a date and realised a relationship with the guy in her office would not work, freeing her up to focus on her career goals and finding a partner elsewhere.

So you see just because there is something in someone else’s energy that speaks to your soul that does not mean you need to behave or be in anyway like that person (apart from during the guided role-play during a session). It merely means they are flagging up a gift that is worth unwrapping. They are simply shining a light on a part of you that will help you to become more free, happy and whole.

As jamie Catto once wrote:

Look at what your ‘fighting against’ out in the World – it’s an arrow directing you to an internal battle, something you need to address within yourself. Look at what you want to heal in the world – it’s an arrow directing you towards something unhealed and unfinished inside you.

In conclusion; beyond any kind of grandiose claims or nonsense, this is a real way of awakening a very tangible sense of soul and figuring out what you truly want in life at the unconscious level. Thus supporting whatever that is to arise and emerge in your conscious ego mind quickly and efficiently whilst leading you toward a more fulfilling soulful existence.

Begin your work today, contact me for a free consultation.

¹ My effervescent cohort Keith Wayne Brown correctly pointed out that psyche translated from Greek, means soul. The idea of one being an organ of the other is a concept unique to Jung as far as I am aware.