MY OWN FEAR-CAUSE OF STRESS!
Posted on November 27, 2013 by Anil Bahl, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
We look at outside circumstances which are creating Stress, this article explores as how I am attracting Stress in my Life and how to get free from it
Can I fix my Organisation?
Can I fix my Boss?
Can I fix the Economy?
Can I fix my Spouse?
I am shattered!
I am torn apart with so much to think and to do!
Thoughts that cause more damage than to help us come out of the pitfall that we find ourselves in. Each day seems to be another day to deal, with all the tools that we have equipped ourselves. One tries to alter and mend the world, but fails. S/he is a victim today!
In one of the Life Coaching sessions; it was but evident that the victim of such stress finds himself in thick soup with no way out. The Participant shared his ever increasing involvement in his field of work with no respite at any point. Overtime, diligence and sincerity did nothing to keep stress at bay. He found himself isolated from his family and social circle and himself.
What was he running from? Where did the actual problem arise? Was there any other better solution available then?
Innumerable questions remained unanswered…
..
It was realized that the actual source of Stress was not the circumstances around but his own “fear” in dealing with the situation. Participant acknowledged it to be the “fear of failure”. He was in a constant fight to evade ‘failure’ all the time. In that struggle he created ‘resistance’ that created ‘stress’ unknowingly. Physical exertion can be a stretched and one can deal with it physically but this was a severe demand on a mental plane. Acknowledging the ‘Real’ reason of generation of Stress by the participant created paradigm shift in his looking at and dealing with the life situations causing release of stress.
Fear often comes from our own limiting belief that ‘Something is wrong’. This belief very often is born in our childhood from the age of 8 to 16 years old. It could be due to any happening that would have triggered off this ‘fear’. Our life thus slowly shapes up to meet this “fear” and we see it manifesting in our real world as well!
The purpose thus is to attend to this ‘belief of fear’, which needs to be addressed and eradicated at the earliest. We ought to free ourselves from this ‘limiting belief’ that causes stress and live the life we love and so deserve.
We ought to address the ‘Real cause’ of stress which gets triggered from within ‘myself’. To recognize what is the fear about oneself in that particular situation; identify if that belief of ‘fear’ is real or unreal.
Sometimes we push ourselves beyond our physical capacity. At times, even work becomes priority rather than our own happiness? What are we proving to whom and what was it that we are compensating for. People start accumulating stress at an age as early as 5 years. Thereby, the emotional stress accumulated affects our physical body too. Hence prevention could offer the best medicine, right at the onset of the stress. To get the long lasting effects we can go deeper to address the root cause.
In another session with a senior coachee, it was inferred that inspite of his diligent effort to get through with his ideas, he could not make way. Repeated failure has been very disheartening to continue working in that state of mind. This has been the cause of stress on the surface to the coachee. He was very tough and harsh; as he was being judgmental about himself. To pre-empt “rejection” has been felt for quite some time and now it is his way of living. This also broke down his self-esteem and self-worth. While being judgmental we often invalidate the other person or situation and in the process, our energy gets depleted rather than using this energy for constructive work to create something better which can take us off from stress. Our physical body experiences ‘burnout symptoms’ like- seeing life as “stressful”; feeling lonely; seeing no way out; daily work turns burdensome and boring; finding cynicism in life.
When ‘realization’ came into being, he ‘accepted’ his “fear of rejection”. This deliberately released his resistance. Internally his acceptance has helped him slowly to overcome this “fear of rejection”. His self-esteem and self-worth found their place in his personality. Thus his effort to recognize his cause of fear; acknowledging the fear and deliberately releasing the resistance has brought him “freedom from his belief of fear and its existence”!
Fear comes in anticipation of ‘something going wrong’. Thereby‘Fear’ does remind one to address the surface issue quickly.
As, Robert G Alle says- “Fear melts when you take action towards a goal you really want.”
It was thus agreed that to release this stress one could:
- recognize the burnout symptoms
-accept the limiting belief of self through the ‘fear and doubt’ thus created
-accept the situation as it comes
- prioritize issues in life/work
-explore alternatives from the situation
-recognize and tap the energy
- seek out a friend or professional help
Leaving behind a certain amount of stress is always valuable. It acts as a driving force to achieve higher and higher levels of goals!
Getting free from stress is always valuable. It acts as a driving force to live the life we love and achieve higher levels of accomplishments.
