Steps to Becoming an Active Listener

Posted on October 25, 2013 by Daniel Zimmerman, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and your mind drifts off to somewhere else only to be jarred back to reality when they ask you a question or ask you if you are paying attention?

Have you been at work and someone is telling you a problem and you think that you have the answer so instead of listening, you think of ways to answer that first question?

These are examples of not being an active listener. We are going to look at some ways to become an active listener so that when someone is talking to you, you will get the most out of what you are hearing and not using your selective hearing. There are 5 points to active listening that I want to address in this article. They are:

· Be There

· Set a Purpose for Listening

· Focus on Understanding

· Ask Questions for clarity

· Pay attention to Verbal Signposts

Let us dive right in and talk about the first point of “be there”.

This point makes a lot of sense but is the most misunderstood. Like in the first example that was given, the mind can drift off to faraway places, different time and space but one thing is true, you are not present in the conversation. To be an active listener means that you are present in the moment with the speaker. If you are anywhere but listening to the speaker, then you are not performing active listening. Some ways to make sure that you are present in the moment include eye contact, sitting upright, acknowledgment as well as many others examples. So, if someone is talking to you, look them in the eye and really pay attention to what they are saying. You will be surprised at how much you will hear.

The next point is to “set a purpose for listening”. What are you looking to achieve through listening. If you are a student sitting in a lecture hall, what do you hope to accomplish by listening to your professionals lecture? Are you prepared to concentrate on the material that is being presented? Do you have your note paper and pen handy? There are many things that can be said during a lecture so it is important to know why you are in class, being prepared by already having read any backup materials or assignments and take down some questions that you might want to ask at a later time.

Focus on Understanding is the next point of being an active listener. Listening without any understanding is a complete waste of time. How are you going to understand the material? By paying attention to what is being said you find that you are having difficulty understanding the material, then ask questions. Questions are a great way to add clarity to any conversation, lecture or speech. If you have a question about a particular class then you will ask the instructor right? If you do not know how to do a particular job at work, you should go to your manager to ask for assistance. A willingness to ask questions shows a desire to learn and is the mark of an active listener.

The last point of active listening that I want to cover deals with verbal signposts. Instructors in lecture halls are great at giving these queues if something important is coming up that should be written down or listened too extra closely. This also happens in the business world when you might be speaking with a client and all of the sudden the conversation is off track. They might preface with in addition to or the next topic I want to discuss. If active listening is not being applied, those verbal sign posts will be missed and your confusion will set in. Don’t let that happen because you were not listening.

We talked about different methods for active listening. We spoke about being present in the moment, setting up a purpose for listening, focusing on understanding, asking questions, and verbal signposts. I would challenge you to think about these five areas the next time you are speaking with someone and try to use these tactics. You might find that they think that you are a very good listener.

Daniel Zimmerman is an Online Success Coach at Colorado Technical University. In addition, he is currently working on his Ed.D designation in Organizational Leadership in Higher Education from Grand Canyon University.

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