STOP DROP AND ROLL

Posted on October 24, 2013 by Sandy Miller, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

As parents we are familiar with the term STOP DROP And ROLL

It is a fire safety prevention program taught to children. In the event that clothing catches on fire children are taught the stop drop and roll method, which allows them to extinguish the fire quickly and efficiently.

According to the Urban Dictionary STOP DROP and ROLL is also the act of leaving a bad date!

STOP what you’re doing?
DROP the date
and ROLLout…

This is actually great advice!

However, in the context of Divorce Coaching during this first phase of divorce, I’d like to offer you the STOP DROP and ROLL method to manage your inner voice, The Monster Within.

Psychologist call this Inner voice – self-talk. It includes conscious thoughts and or unconscious assumptions and beliefs. Healthy self-talk is reasonable, as we use it for constructive means of learning and challenging ourselves. However some of our self-talk is also negative ,unrealistic and self-defeating.

Have you ever considered, that our thoughts are just that…

thoughts! They aren’t real!!!

It’s important to self manage our irrational negative self talk, and to challenge it so we can change it and replace it with reasonable, constructive thoughts!

Rather than continuing to fan the flames of our mind and allow ourselves to ruminate it is important for us to have a method to help us direct our negative thoughts from becoming out-of-control.

Stop – this simply is what it! Stop your unconscious automatic reaction. As soon as you are aware that your mind is processing the past, or rehearsing the future the first important thing to do is stop. If you are putting yourself down with thoughts of “ I’m not good enough”, or “I’m too stupid to”, “I should’ve, could’ve,” etc. S T O P!!!

Do not let your mind continue to control you – take charge! Stop the presses! Stop everything you are doing and thinking and take notice. Awareness is the first step. Come to a complete halt with your body and mind and stand still.

Drop – Take a deep breath (in through the nose and out through the mouth) and back away S L O W L Y! This is the transitional stage. Step away from the old thoughts, memories, past relationships and hurts, old beliefs about yourself and move into the present. Say out loud “I cancel that thought.” Or, imagine you are at the ocean’s edge and send that thought back across the endless waves, like the tide going out!

Metaphorically, take your head off, gently put it on a shelf (you’ll need it later, trust me!) and give it a rest. Let your heart lead. Be your own observer, notice where you are, your surroundings, get centered. What is really going on in the present moment, in the here and now?

Remind yourself that YOU; your presence is a gift.

Roll – Role is the action or the choice. Physically move your body to a different space. Make the shift. Change your perspective. What can you do different now that your mind is clear? What new thoughts do you want to think about? How do you want to respond that is congruent to who you are and who you want to be? What are you grateful for? Think about what is true…

By following the STOP DROP and ROLL method, you will slowly move from a reactive pattern to a pro-active behavior. Over the discipline of time (and it takes discipline), you will see yourself change your negative self talk into an elegant spokesperson of your true confident self!

Reflections:

1. Will you accept the challenge of managing The Monster Within?

2. Who will you tell by tomorrow, who will hold you accountable for this decision?

3. Want to up the anti – and get serious?
•wear an elastic band around your wrist- every time you catch yourself ruminating in negative self-talk STOP, snap the band (that’s the DROP) and re-direct your thoughts! (Roll) Do this for 1 month and you’ll amaze yourself!

STOP DROP and ROLL to manage your negative self talk!