Know Thy Boss

Posted on September 17, 2013 by Keith Russell, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

While working with a coaching client recently, she continued to voice her frustration with being “Micromanaged”. As I listened to her explain her work relationship with Jim, her CEO, it became very clear to me that this type of management was keeping her from growing professionally.

Linda was very well educated, all-knowing in her field, very well respected by the team she leads and was of impeccable character. Her past performance evaluations were very good. In fact, on her most recent evaluation, The CEO stated that as part of a Succession Planning session he had with the board, her name was repeatedly mentioned as a “who to groom as the future CEO”. So why in the world would her “boss” micromanage her?

Being the active and engaging listener, I scribbled notes as fast as I could and continued to dig a little deeper. She continued to describe not being trusted, often times belittled, being treated poorly and even snubbed.

These were all obviously very troubling signs. Whatever the background, situation, relationship or Jim’s management style, we needed to address this quickly.

I asked, “Linda, what would your boss say if you asked him about your decision making authority?” Within 3 seconds she said, “Always ask before you do. Do what I say.”

Yikes! Houston, we have a problem….

Fortunately, I had worked with many clients with similar challenges. Unfortunately this is all too common and seldom is it easy to overcome this challenge without the boss’ involvement.

This was very likely a situation that the boss was unaware of, was not Linda’s fault at all. The micromanagement was a product of Jim’s inability to let go of the fine details and focus on the “big picture” while empowering his to learn, grow and mature professionally.

Those of you who know or have worked with me over the years may have heard me say, “It may not be your fault but it is definitely you problem”.

It was time to get to work! As I continued questioning Linda on the circumstances and situations that were most likely to cause for Jim to “micromanage” her, we discovered a common theme. It was all the time and not just with her but with all employees.

The CEO was involved with everything in the organization. He would routinely interject, at will, without considering the impact on the goals, mission and vision of the organization. And, more troubling, many of the employees of the organization began to defer to the Jim constantly. They were afraid to make a decision without his approval.

The focus of our discussion turned to understanding the CEO. I asked Linda to describe Jim in 50 words or less and she sat there silently for a long uncomfortable pause before saying, “That’s really difficult.” She had never talked to him about his interests; not discussed with him what victories he wanted to celebrate or even asked about his family. She described Jim and their relationship as “all business”.

Linda had to get to know the boss better. In order to create a relationship of the support, respect and trust, Jim must know her better and she must know him as well. She would, as a “coaching homework assignment” answer the following questions for herself and then set up a meeting with Jim to clarify; confirm or better understand if her answers (assumptions) were correct.

10. What kinds of problems most worry your boss? What kinds of victories most please your boss?

Our goal of understanding the boss and helping the boss understand Linda was to lay the foundation for a more trusting, respectful and supportive working relationship. Although Linda was hesitant, she had to do something to change the situation.

We agreed that I would follow-up with her in 3 days to see if she had scheduled the meeting, answered the 10 questions and rehearsed the conversation. At least having rehearsed idea, by idea (not word-for-word).

It was 3:00pm on the 3rd day and I phoned Linda as agreed upon. She explained that she was meeting him within the hour and that she was excited but uneasy about how things would turn out. I gave her my vote of confidence, a little pep talk and explained how this was a true test of her will to change her level of happiness at work and at home. She agreed to call me back as soon as she finished talking with Jim and I wished her luck.

4:00, 5:00, 6:00….. still waiting. I forwarded my office phone to my cell phone and continued to wonder. “Did it go well and she just forgot to call me back?” “Did it turn out poorly and she didn’t want to talk to anyone (including me) about it”. “What happened? Surely, the meeting happened, right?”

7:00, 7:20….. My phone rings and I see her name on the screen of my phone. Apprehensively but with an upbeat tone, I answered. “Hello, Linda! How did it go”? Then I heard a sniffle. “Linda, are you there?” She began crying and said, “I have been working for Jim for over 10 years. He has great respect for me. He has a Yellow Lab nearly the same age as our family pet. He lost his wife and daughter in an auto accident 12 years ago and has never remarried. Jim has immersed himself in his work as a way to cope with the loss. He had no idea that he was micro-managing me or the other employees at the office.”

She continued “I have never been so happy with where I stand with my boss. He trusts me and has asked me to let him know when he is micromanaging….” An on, and on and on…….

Victory!

Linda and Jim now meet face-to-face each Tuesday Morning and discuss the priorities, goals and focus for the organization. Jim recently took his first significant vacation in over 12 years and guess who was in charge. You got it! Linda is as happy as she has ever been with her standing at work, her organization and her future with that organization.

Jim is now one of my coaching clients, as well.

Know Thy Boss.