Turning Your Resolutions into Real Life Change
Posted on August 30, 2013 by The Coaching Cabin of Broad Ripple, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Why do most resolutions for change fail? This article explores common mistakes we tend to make around resolutions & how may we move into real change.
• The January Gym
In writing this article my memory is called back to one year when I joined a gym in January. As I was being given the tour, I remarked to my tour guide that I was concerned with the number of people, as every elliptical, bike, and stair climber was occupied. She got a bit of a smirk on her face as she replied, “Come the second week of February there will be plenty of available machines I promise.” She saw my disbelieving look and continued, “Every January there is this big influx, by second week of February we are always back to our normal capacity.” She was right, the first few weeks after I joined I recall waiting in line for a machine, but after the second week of February, I never waited the rest of the year. This is just one visible example of New Year Resolutions that just didn’t make it through to the true habit and life change we often seek.
• Who even remembers last year’s resolution?
One of the main reasons our resolutions fail is we often don’t place the importance and value on them that is required for a true habit and life change.
• Deepening & Strengthening life change
The important point here is that our resolutions must be deepened and strengthened. We can’t just say I want to lose weight, eat healthier, and exercise more. We have to take the time to sit quietly with our newly desired way of life and visualize what our daily life looks like when we are living in this way. We have to break that down into very specific activities that we will do and then eventually they will become part of who we are.
• Reasonable & Attainable Resolution
A common mistake is making resolutions that are not reasonable or attainable. A friend of mine was 60 lbs. over his goal weight, so he made a plan to lose 20 lbs. a month for 3 months. The first month he only lost 12lbs. Frustrated he had worked so hard and missed his goal, he quit his exercise and diet plan all together. Despite the fact that he was able to break it down and plan for its success, the time he set for himself was unreasonable which lead to the entire goal being tossed out.
• Release the guilt
As a culture we seem to have embraced this common underlying belief that guilt is productive, specifically that guilt can motivate us to do better next time. This typically though is not the case. Guilt is a negative, devaluing emotion, so it often does the exact opposite of motivating us. Guilt make us feel bad, so as a form of protection from it we quit setting our self up for this negative emotion by no longer pursuing challenging areas of self betterment.
• Nothing Missed, Nothing Lost
We believe once we have missed a goal, or had a misstep in our new desired way of being, that we have failed in some way, screwed up, or messed up. Everyone’s journey is uniquely their own and no one else’s, but the one thing I can almost always guarantee is that your journey to the life you want will not be a perfect straight line, nor in my learning’s is it supposed to be. There are many stops along the way that are meant to challenge us and have us learn valuable self lessons. It is not about right and wrong, it is about honoring your unique path; there is nothing that was missed should you step off your path and there is nothing that is lost should you find yourself needing to refocus and start again.
• Reason vs. Force
The attitude that we bring to our lives and our loved one’s matter. Most all of us have learned that if we are demanding & forceful with our significant other, rarely do we truly get what we want; on the other-hand if we instead come from a place of love and respect, our desired way of living will often naturally take form. I invite you to consider that the attitude we bring to our goals and resolutions matter just the same. A typical common mistake is to approach our goals and resolutions with FORCE – “I WILL Lose this Weight.” When we use this force we often push things further away rather then drawing them closer. Coming from a place of reason vs. force is often a key to moving closer to the life you want. The reason I want to lose weight is a.b,c it makes sense for me to make this commitment because of x,y,z .
All the best to you in achieving the life you desire to live – Everyday.
~ The Coaching Cabin
