It's a Set-up

Posted on August 29, 2013 by The Coaching Cabin of Broad Ripple, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

I was watching a heist movie recently and as the crew was executing their heist, things within them began to feel uneasy, something wasn’t right. On-cue they looked at each other and said, “It’s a set-up!” and they walked away from their big score, just like that.

It got me to thinking about how often each day we are “set-up” for negative emotional trappings that can result in each of us stepping out of our best self.

That said, here is the good news; we can learn to recognize the set-up and walk-away, just like the crew in the heist movie, we can walk away and never suffer the consequences.

Three common set-ups

1. We are set-up to sacrifice the things we truly want in our life and to cease our efforts towards creating the life we want to live.

Some Common Set-up Phrases:

That won’t work.
Who are you to do that?
That doesn’t make sense, it’s not logical.
No, No, No, you should do this instead.
Strategies in avoiding the set-up and walking away:

Share your personal goals and efforts only when necessary AND preferably only with those who have historically been supportive. If you must share with naysayers (often work situations and family) then be prepared, let them speak, but then stick to your guns. Confidence and brevity when communicating with naysayers is often the key; for those of you who are Seinfeld fans I call this technique the “David Puddy” – confident and brief.

2. We are set-up to leave our positive states, baited into negativity

Some Common Set-up Phrases:

Can you believe they did that?
Did you see what they’re wearing?
I heard that they’re having issues, what have you heard?"
Strategies in avoiding the set-up and walking away:

The strategy here is positive misdirection; answering these set-ups with something positive, typically a bit off topic to shift the conversation can often be an effective technique. Example: “I didn’t hear that, but I did hear their son is going to state in wrestling; what a talented young man!”

3. As we are on the path to our best self, we are set-up to step off this path.

Common Set-up Phrases:

So what if you have a big day tomorrow, come out with us anyway.
Skip your work-out and come with us instead.
Don’t waste your time on self-improvement, it doesn’t work.
Strategies in avoiding the set-up and walking away:

The best strategies here are rooted in pure will-power and belief in your goal. Find creative and authentic ways to express your commitment to your goals when you are challenged by others.

The Real Score: Maintaining Your Freedom

Daily life is often full of these negative emotional set-ups; picture it as someone literally opening the door to a negative way of thinking and being, and they are inviting you in to join them, you don’t have to accept the invitation.

Two key steps for staying on track to your best self:

First, it is understanding that these set-ups exist everyday; they are presented to you and designed to elicit a negative reaction.

Second, it is being greater than the set-ups. It is using your awareness and smart strategies to elude and walk away from them.

Learning to elude and walk away from these daily blatant set-ups is part of your journey towards the best version of yourself, your authenticity, your true happiness, and your own person success.

In the movie, the crew walked away from their big score because they realized they were being set-up, they understood that the real score, more important than anything else, was maintaining their freedom.

Maintain your freedom by:

1) being aware enough to recognize these set-ups

2) being confident enough in the journey towards your best self to be bigger then them

I champion you towards your awareness and effective use of strategies to elude and walk-away from these set-ups – unscathed with a smile!