5 Steps To A Conflict Resistant Business

Posted on August 14, 2013 by Bill Graybill, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

I collect definitions of what constitutes a culture, and found one that hits the nail on the head. This definition is hung on the wall behind a professor’s desk. Here is his definition: “A colony of microorganisms, or cells, grown in a specially prepared, nourishing environment.” It is hard to find a better picture of a growing business.

For anthropologists and other behavioral scientists, culture is the full range of learned human behavior patterns. The key word here is “learned.” The culture of a business is a learned set of behavior patterns. If culture is learned, then it is possible to learn a new set of behavior patterns to create a new culture.

Nationally recognized leadership authority Andy Stanley, pastor of North Point Community Church in Atlanta, GA., says that pastors and church leaders are environmental engineers. The same can be said of business owners and managers. All we can do is create an environment that is conducive to the goals we are aiming for. In this case we are aiming for a culture that is redemptive in principle and practice. This redemptive culture will produce better results for your bottom line.

For our purpose in this article a culture is constructed of four different components: Values, Attitudes, Goals and Behaviors. The environment we design is intended to foster values, attitudes, goals and behaviors that are inherently redemptive in essence and application.

A redemptive culture will not happen all by itself. It starts with a leader and a leadership team that is committed to engineering environments where such a culture can flourish. When the leader practices a redemptive culture in his or her own life and is willing to lead others into it, then a redemptive culture will develop and flourish.

There is a simple acronym that outlines the steps in engineering a new culture. It is the word “VIDEO.” V stands for Vision
What is your vision for each of the four areas of culture in your organization? When you paint a detailed picture of your culture, it becomes easier to evaluate and see the gaps that exist.

Let me illustrate with part of my own cultural vision.

Values: Bill Graybill Coaching, LLC and Peace Mentors (a non-profit) are built relationally and, therefore, whole and vibrant relationships are significant and have a profound effect on our success.

Attitudes: When anyone in the organization is offended, displeased, or hurt, they make every effort to overlook the offense and endeavor to change their attitude. If they are unable to do so within a short amount of time, they will take the initiative to resolve the issue in a redemptive manner.

Goals: Create an environment where everyone knows, understands and commits to resolving conflicts redemptively. Ignoring difficult situations, in hopes that it will go away, will not be considered an option.

Behaviors: Each person will be committed to owning their mistakes and failures, diligent in going to the appropriate people, acknowledging and confessing as needed in order to restore any damaged relationships.
You need to explore your organization and design its culture.

Exercise:
Design your preferred culture by filling in the following cultural elements for your organization.

Values (A person’s principles or standards of behavior)

Attitudes (A settled way of thinking or feeling, reflected in actions)

Goals (Desired results)

Behaviors (Customs and expected actions)

I stands for Instruct
If you are in a business environment, here are some ways to instruct:

Teach your team the principles and behaviors of redemptive conflict resolution. The secret is keeping it before them in different and creative ways.

Use staff meetings to teach important principles to your team.

Use everyday situations that arise to individuals or your team as a whole.

Do a half-day training off site.

Give a copy of Resolve Conflict God’s Way to each employee.

Incorporate redemptive conflict resolution tips in all employee communication, including paycheck envelopes.

Teaching your employees the principles and behaviors of redemptive conflict resolution will change the workplace environment. The secret is keeping it before them in as many different and creative ways as possible.

D stands for Demonstrate
People need to see you practicing what you are preaching when it comes to this very difficult subject of resolving conflict. The soil will be prepared and the seed sown by your teaching the principles of redemptive conflict resolution. The harvest will come as they watch you walk it out in your everyday encounters.

One of my encounters with Dirk, an employee, illustrates this principle.

I was working with my secretary one morning when Dirk walked into the office. I like bright colored shirts and wear them often. Dirk started to give me a compliment on the shirt I was wearing that day, “That’s a nice shir….” Cutting him off in mid-sentence, I snapped, “Don’t say it.” Dirk, not realizing what was happening in my mind, repeated his comment, “That’s a nice shir….” I cut him off with a cold stare and even colder words, “Don’t say that one more time.” Now Dirk is smart and knew without a doubt it was best to exit the office; he backed out and returned to his office.

I knew instantly I had misspoken and was wrong. Later that day I went to Dirk’s office to have a chat. I began with, “I need to tell you I’m really sorry for the comment I made to you earlier. I was wrong. Would you forgive me?” Dirk graciously answered, “Sure.”

Let me fill you in on some of the details of what was going through my mind when I made that apology. Dirk had a unique sense of humor, and there were times when Dirk said things to me about my clothes that were a little sarcastic. When Dirk came into the office and started to say something about my clothes, I was sensitive to his potential comments and reacted instantaneously.

Now, let me tell you what I really wanted to say to Dirk! “Dirk, I’m really sorry for what I said, BUT, if you’d not made fun of my clothes previously, I would not have reacted as I did.”

Here is the truth. It does not matter what Dirk said previously, I was wrong. You need to own your sin. When you are wrong, own it. Don’t pass it off. I needed to own my words and not shift blame to Dirk. I wanted to maintain a positive relationship with Dirk because he was a good employee who had a huge desire to make a difference in the lives of teenagers. It is important to preserve relationships and keep other peoples’ spirits open toward you.

E stands for Equip
Equipping is different than instruction. Equipping is more extensive and intentionally engages others to become active peace makers. We allocate money, time and staff to the things that we value. How will your investment in conflict resolution reflect your commitments to creating a new culture?

If you are going to create an environment where people grow into a new culture of redemptive conflict resolution, then you have to provide, or at least point the way, to resources that will promote growth.

Here are some suggestions for equipping:
Create a budget item for training and supplies.
Bring in outside sources to teach and train.
Hire a coach that specializes in conflict resolution.
Sponsor business luncheons that are community-wide and bring in an appropriate speaker.

O stands for Ongoing Opportunity
You will never run out of opportunities to teach, train and practice redemptive conflict resolution. It seems that conflict is like my neighbor’s cat; I watch it sneak up on a bird, waiting for that moment of distraction when it can pounce and capture the bird. Conflict is always looking for an opportunity to show itself.

After working with conflict resolution for over a decade and a half, I still have opportunities to learn and practice better resolution skills. Look at it as a challenge to become a master at conflict resolution and training others in its skills. The result will be a string of solid relationships and teams that thrive.

Buddy Owens, a teaching pastor at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA., says that culture is built on historic and memorable moments. Conflict is historic and memorable, and is always near. The question is, will it be a positive contribution to the growth of your organization, or will it be detrimental to your organization’s health.

Whatever your leadership title is, in reality you are an environmental engineer. You are designing the space where people can grow and become more redemptive in their values, attitudes, goals and behaviors. As you do this, you are creating a redemptive culture, in essence and in practice. Congratulations.

Bill Graybill, D.Min., PCC, is a executive coach, speaker, adjunct professor, and best selling author, focusing on conflict resolution, anger management and building teams that thrive. Bill coaches individuals and groups in businesses and churches. With over 35 years of experience, he brings understanding, a broad-base skill set, and passion to his clients.

Resolve Conflict God’s Way is available in print, Kindle, Nook and iBook at resolveconflictgodsway.com