Where are all the Decent Guys?
Posted on August 13, 2013 by Carol Page, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
This is a regular refrain that I hear from single women - and men too. But you can take matters into your own hands. I'm going to show you how.
There seems to be a general perception among single people that there is a shortage of decent guys. “All the good ones are taken, and if they’re not, they certainly won’t be interested in me, so why bother!”
But when I ask these same people where they are going, or what they are doing to try to meet new people, the response is usually ‘Well I don’t have time to go out much’. Or if they are going out, it’s generally to the same places.
Listen to yourself! If you’re not meeting anyone suitable in the places where you are currently going, then try something different. And you are certainly not going to meet anyone by staying at home!
So where are these decent guys? The answer to that question depends on what constitutes a ‘decent guy’ for you. That is why it is so important to be clear about what you are looking for. Think about the type of person you are looking for – the values, the interests, the character and personality of your ideal match.
Once you are clear about that, visualise that person and consider what he or she would be doing on a Saturday night. Where would they hang out? What would they do in their spare time?
If you want to be with someone who shares your interest in music or theatre, then you stand more chance meeting someone like that by attending those places than you will be going to a night club.
If your fantasy is to hitch up with a keep-fit fanatic, then you would be better off joining a gym than spending your time at the local bar.
So consider your interests, and join clubs and groups that attract people who enjoy doing the same things that you enjoy.
Even better, consider your values, passions and life vision. These are the things that come from within your gut and that drive you. Join organisations for people with similar values to yourself. In that way you will increase the likelihood of meeting someone who is ‘decent’ in your eyes and who will be a good match.
So to get yourself started, grab yourself a piece of paper and draw four columns with the following four headings:
General Places
Singles Events
Shared Interests
Shared Values
Next, populate each of the columns with the places you currently go. For instance, under ‘General Places’, you might include the shops, work, airport, bus stop etc.
‘Singles Events’ would be clubs, events and parties for singles, but could also include on-line dating.
‘Shared Interests’ would include the groups you belong to and places you go that are for people who share the same interest, such as walkers, writers, singers etc.
‘Shared Values’ would include things like church, charity, political groups, environmental organisations etc.
Once you have done that, go back and try to add places you could go, particularly in the last two columns, that will get you meeting the type of person who is likely to be a good match for you.
The final step is to get out there and actually meet people! Choose 2 or 3 places from your ‘Shared Interests’ or ‘Shared Values’ columns. Do the research on them to find out where and when these groups meet, and make a decision to go along.
By choosing groups from your ‘Shared Interests’ and ‘Shared Values’ lists, if all else fails, at least you will have an enjoyable time with like-minded people.
The important thing is to enjoy yourself, relax and have fun.
Try it! What have you got to lose? You might just meet a very ‘decent guy’!
