What does it mean to be Happy?
Posted on November 10, 2009 by Jane Barr-Thomson, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
What does happiness mean to you? When are you most fulfilled and happy?
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.
Helen Keller
Most of us would say I am happiest when I am myself, that is – relaxed, authentic, feeling good. When we are with others who love and appreciate us the way we are.
When we are happy we are in a state of flow. We actually forget ourselves. Ironic really – when we forget ourselves we find ourselves! Hmm
Striving for our goals, trying to be more than who we are, “fixing” ourselves and having more and being more… and more successful, more fulfilled, more money, more love and more things. Phew! When do we get to take a breath and just be exactly who we!
There is powerful force within our culture that is constantly pushing us to be more. The idea that we are not enough – we “need” that new car, promotion, better relationship, boob job or bigger house. We all know this and in spite of that most of us get caught up in it! And yet it is the unique, quirky, funny and vulnerable parts of us that make us all individually fascinating and valuable.
Martin Seligman, in his book “Authentic Happiness” says “Authentic Happiness comes from identifying and cultivating your most fundamental strengths and using them every day in work, love, play and parenting.”
The greatest gift and the most transformative experience of our lives is when we see the wonder of who we really are and embrace and love that. If I can help you to experience the fulfillment and even euphoria that can bring – then my work as your coach is complete!
By the way we do set goals and my clients do achieve amazing things in their lives – but it is when they actually start to see how incredible they are – how unique – how precious to our planet – that the real success has occurred!
When we truly set ourselves free from our unhealthy, dysfunctional self–dislike, then anything is possible! When you think about it – you are happiest when you are being yourself – yet many of us consistently try to be like someone else or someone else’s idea of who we think we should be. We tie ourselves up in knots trying to be better than everyone else. Ironically, we are at our best – at our most successful –and at our most attractive, when we are relaxed and being ourselves – being real.
Lasting happiness and fulfillment come when we can be who we are, using our unique set of abilities, personalities and experiences to give to others and help others be who they are.
Easier said than done? Perhaps. This is why working with a coach is such a great idea!! Two heads (and hearts) can be better than one!
Jane Barr-Thomson
Feb 2009
