THE INTERVAL

Posted on June 26, 2013 by David Hackett, One of Thousands of Entrepreneurship Coaches on Noomii.

THE INTERVAL
“The Interval” is an interesting topic of
discussion. Formerly referred to over the
ages as “The Midlife Crisis”, “The
Frantic Forties”, “The Transition” and
the “Red Sports Car”, it continues to rear
its ugly little head even when we spend
thousands of dollars trying to become
aware so that we may be spared of the
uncertainty that manifests in our
chattering mind during this time. The
truth is it starts at age 35 and ends at 42,
just like clockwork. Periodically we may
experience a slightly longer or shorter
version just like in pregnancy but the
reality is, Mother Nature is in charge
when it comes to THE INTERVAL. The
only control that you have is in
developing an understanding of it. And
the good news is if you don’t develop an
understanding of it, life will wake you
up anyway once it passes. It is a
gestation period. Whether you liken it to
a caterpillar gradually experiencing
greater degrees of confinement in a
cocoon winding tighter as time
progresses or carrying a fetus until such
time you experience the labor of birth,
both reference becoming more
uncomfortable as the end of your new
beginning nears.
One of the injustices that man has
imposed upon himself since first
beginning to speak, is the notion that he
or she is an adult at or around 21. The
reality is, he is mature, he is in perfect
bloom, he is full term and brand new, he
is fully assembled and road worthy. He
is not an adult. He does not KNOW
HIMSELF. Adult implies that he is
ready, well-equipped to make intelligent
choices while existing in an ignorant
world. This is like trying to see clearly
underwater in a muddy lake. Intelligence
requires self-knowledge beyond likes
and dislikes. If one enters THE
INTERVAL slimed by life, it is likely
that a great deal of disillusionment,
hardship and even self-destruction will
take place. It’s important that one try to
remain clear-headed during this time.
Marriages frequently fall apart (80%)
and children are left to suffer the effects
of it all. Some remarry and others simply
leave town looking for something
outside of themselves. Careers begin to
have a lack luster appeal and many often
feel trapped by their own vain
imaginings. Some feel sorry for
themselves and others fear the sky is
about to cave in on top of them. Nothing
is as it seems during this time. Knowing
that this is completely natural and that
one’s energy is likely to diminish, and life appears to be pedestrian, routine and
annoyingly repetitive, it’s vital that
intelligence prevail and you not throw
the baby out with bath water.
The life you have created up until this
point has been a co-operative effort and
even though it may feel like you are on
the escalator to nowhere, you will arrive
at a new destination and you will be
pleasantly surprised. Back in the day
when marriages lasted for 50 and 60
years, there was little to distract one
from merely surviving. The bonds that
formed in marriages and in the family
institution were strong because they saw
and intermingled with each other daily.
Prior to that era women died during this
interval because at age 39, which
represents the eye of the hurricane, many
would get pregnant for the last time and
their bodies could not take it given the
demands of a pioneer lifestyle.
Consequently, the men that remained
behind experienced change. And change
is what this interval is all about. There is
no other interval like it. It changes YOU
forever and the people in your life. If
you are wise and intelligent enough to
hang onto the baby while making efforts
to clean the water then that which lies on
other side will be paradise. If you choose
to throw the baby out, you will be faced
with loneliness, intermittent friendships,
hidden guilt and having to reinvent
yourself. It’s a very selfish time and most
of us just don’t know how to handle it.
The voices in our head are louder than
usual and the discontent and sensitivity
to all that was once familiar (people we
loved, places we call home and once
favorite pastimes) all become close to
intolerable. We are not feeling like the
same person. We are essentially a
trapped caterpillar inside an ill-fitting
sleeping bag.
In spite of the fact that it may feel like
suffocating or being held prisoner in our
world, it’s vital we not discard anything
or anyone during this time. Infidelity and
hair brained schemes will pound upon
your door. Should you decide to open
the door, there will be consequences that
will impact every moment of your
existence from that point on. Total peace
becomes a long way off and selfdiscovery introduces new painful
realities of life that otherwise would
never have come about. As age 40
commences, our thought processes
become more refined providing we
haven’t fallen prey to drugs or alcohol
trying to sedate the voices in our head.
This means common sense begins to
whisper in our ear as a new sense of
reality begins to manifest. New
opportunities that before never seemed
possible show up in your life and
eventually, life as you know it, is
changing rapidly.
At age 42, you get to catch your breath,
rest , recover and heal from the trauma
that was imposed NATURALLY upon
you during this time, regardless of
whether you chose to wait it out or not.
It is a birthing process. This survival
brings about a great gift. This gift is
ADULTHOOD. It is not until we reach
43 that we can truly call ourselves an
adult. In fact, many of us stay in denial
right up until our 43rd birthday. But just
like the sun rising, so does our
welcoming of adulthood as we begin to
viscerally understand we only have one
body and one life in this lifetime and that
making history with someone requires
total commitment. IN absolute TRUTH
you wake up to a new YOU and become
as aware as you are clean. If you are in
this interval, know that it is only temporary. Do not discard, dismiss or
degrade anyone or anything during this
time. Stay calm, stay clear and stay true
to yourself in knowing that change is
taking place and you are to do nothing
but lie still in the cocoon until such time
Mother Nature urges you to emerge and
fly. Remember, “it is not a straightjacket” but just another womb. Those
that feel confined and emerge
prematurely suffer greatly in the days
that follow. Don’t fight it or blame others
for your discontent. You have to fake it
till you make it. I call it the bridge of
pretending.
For the most part, the human being is an
interesting creature. It operates in three
modes…Intelligent, Ignorant and
Pretend. When it takes good care of
itself, it exhibits signs of intelligence and
when self-maintenance is overlooked, it
begins to exhibit symptoms of
ignorance. Unfortunately, we live in a
fairly toxic world even in the most
remote pristine areas of human
existence. Consequently, the ability to
maintain an intelligent presentation is
almost impossible thus, we have created
a third method of performance called
Pretending. We do this to keep moving
forward and to manage our physical
energy wisely. We are in the Pretend
Mode every time we pretend we like
something when in truth, we don’t. How
many times have you pretended to enjoy
a meal, an activity or an event when in
fact in you didn’t care for any of it? The
reasons for not being honest is multifaceted but truthfully it boils down to
remaining energy efficient. Very few
people are privileged to live in a world
of constant intelligence simply because
ignorance permeates every fiber of our
environment. Words of ignorance are
often woven with threads of disease and
ill intent. We find ourselves
manipulative, intimidating, negligent,
and self-absorbed almost daily.
Pretending is choosing the middle road,
mediocrity and being average in a world
where few have respect for intelligence.
Intelligence is not “being book smart”. It
is knowing how to stay clean in a dirty
world. It’s understanding the significance
of bringing yourself to center daily and
the role that meditation, taking long
quiet walks and singing in the rain have
to offer. Journaling, jogging, and making
faces out of the clouds as you lay down
on a blanket of grass, are all methods of
bathing one’s self. We have to do those
things that maintain the integrity of our
being. It’s a dirty world out there and if
you don’t know how to dust yourself off
regularly, you’ll become a proponent of
toxicity and contribute only disease to
this lifetime. The interval is when our
immune system becomes most
vulnerable in terms of making intelligent
choices. It is very easy to subscribe to
ignorance simply because we no longer
have a clear view. Mother Nature wants
us to be still and discover our self but
society and family demand our presence
as usual. This requires that we stand
strong in our mode of pretend until such
time nature allows to proceed with a
more enlightened understanding of life
and how it really works.
Life in this interval has you restless,
unhappy, and making excuses for why
things are no longer satisfying. If you
feel trapped and stifled by the very
lifestyle you have helped to co-create,
then you must begin to seek ways to
calm your anxiety and distract your
thoughts. Tell yourself, “This is only
temporary” and that “I can choose to
love an be happy today” or “I can choose
to embrace those who love me deeply.” Be in the moment. Live only for today
and not a minute longer. Do not look at
tomorrow for a single second and do not
look over the fence at how much greener
your neighbor’s grass is in comparison to
yours. Your ability to judge during this
time is veiled by nature’s cocoon. Use
this time to explore and expand your
own inner understanding of what you are
about to become and how you can be the
best you can be. Should you take this
advice, the rewards that come on the
other side of this interval are many and
most importantly offer a history of
commitment and love. Be strong enough
to endure the insanity of this growth
period. Growing pains make us
incredibly uncomfortable in our own
skin.
Don’t give up the history you have
created with another, you lose a part of
yourself when you make this choice.
Stay whole, stay true. Focus on being
love rather than being in love. Love is
the oxygen of life. It will keep you in
check during this very natural and
temporary time of life. There’s a lot to be
said for, “And this too shall pass”
because it is absolutely TRUE!
The majority of all divorces occur
during the interval of 34843 years of
age.
© 20013 YCG,LLC
The Y.O.U. Institute
877823088016