Spring Cleaning

Posted on June 17, 2013 by Cassandra Patterson, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Spring may be over, but it’s not too late to do some Spring cleaning.Many of us go through the annual ritual of spring cleaning. This age old process of cleaning your house in preparation for the new season is a time honored tradition upheld by many. The reason being is that the process of cleaning your home refreshes your spirit somehow, leaving you feeling renewed and excited for the summer months ahead. The dark winter drapes and blankets are put away and the bright colors come out. You may even do a little yard work such as painting the fence or planting some flowers. Growing up I dreaded Spring cleaning. While my mother thought about how beautiful her new curtains would look, all I could think about was how many windows I’d have to wash. Now that I’m older, I’ve grown to appreciate the value of clearing out the old and preparing for the new season ahead.

If we are able to recognize the importance of cleaning out our homes every year why don’t we take this process inward by cleaning out our mental and emotional clutter. Surely, the same benefits would apply. Throughout the past years, there’s no doubt that we’ve all gone through a variety of experiences and emotions, some good and some we’d rather forget. However, instead of shoveling it all under the rug, why can’t we simply spring clean ourselves? Without this process, the level of toxicity is bound to increase exponentially, causing us to feel weighed down, frustrated and discouraged. In a way we’ve created an internal swamp comprising of the failures, disappointments, heartbreaks, arguments, losses and so many more things that we should not carry on from year to year. There is no way to be truly successful with this kind of baggage because you carry it around within you into every new situation, whether it be a new job, new relationship. This is why many people find themselves dealing with the same situation over and over again because can change your environment, but you can’t run from what’s inside.

Sometimes we trick ourselves into believing that we hold on to these things to serve as lessons learned to keep from making the same mistake again which is fine if you let go once you’ve acquired the lesson to be learned. In many situations that is not the case, instead we use these past experiences to judge others and hold it against them, make excuses for why we can or can’t do things or we punish ourselves. None of which are healthy or effective behaviors
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So let’s put on our aprons, crab those long gloves and dive right into our internal spring cleaning.

Step 1: Assessment
Take the time to identify the baggage that you’ve been carrying around. Whether it’s letting go of the guy that broke your heart, the boss that didn’t appreciate you or the mother that abandoned you. Identifying your weight is key to being rid of them.

Step 2: Process
If you hadn’t gotten a notebook or journal by now, please do so. Take the time to process those feelings that occurred in your given situation, if you have multiple situations, tackle them one at a time. Do what you need to face those thoughts and feelings whether that is staring into a mirror, having a good cry, yelling or screaming into a pillow, this is the perfect time for that. It’s important deplete yourself of all these toxic emotions. If at any time while going through this process you uncover something that may be out of your scope to handle, please do not hesitate to seek the help of a professional. This person has been trained to help you navigate and resolve those situations that you’re unable to handle on your own.

Step 3: The lesson
This step requires complete transparency and maturity. Let’s face it if you can’t be honest with yourself about what’s going on in your life, how can you be honest with anyone else? In this instance, maturity is being willing to accept the role you played in the situation. Whether you stayed in the relationship far beyond the expiration date or your constant criticism drove your friend away. It’s time to stop pointing fingers and own your contribution good or bad. By doing so you’ll have a better understanding of yourself and how to conduct yourself should that situation arise again whether it’s a new job or a new girlfriend.

Now that you’ve taken responsibility, it’s time for the list. Create a list of the things you want to let go from here on out. Whether you admit it or not, not everything was bad so don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater as they used to say. Take the positive with you and discard the rest. Now create a list of the things you would like to take into your future space and some things you’d like to add as well. Review the list a few times to make your you got everything.

Step 4: The Purge
This is the physical part of the process. This is where you take that list of negative things that you hoped to let go of send it through the shredder…literally. If you don’t have a shredder use a scissors (carefully) or your bare hands. This process should be very cathartic. Next is getting rid of all those negative little reminders that you have lying around. Whether it’s the stuffed animal he bought you on your first date that make you cry every time you see it or that CD she made for you. If these things invoke negative emotions or bring back negative memories, why keep them, besides you’ll need all that space to fill with new positive things. Once all that clutter is gone, so will the weight and the residue that accompanied them. Yes this may hurt and there may be some more crying. Although it may be difficult to let go, it could be deadly to hold on.

Step 5: Forgive yourself
Yes, you did it now let it go. Whatever “it” may be, you’ve made a mistake and most likely suffered some consequences as a result, so let’s consider that time served and move on. If part of forgiving yourself is apologizing to someone, then by all means make amends. However, that person is by no means required to accept your apology so remember that. Just because you have forgiven yourself doesn’t mean they have or ever will. The point is to stop beating yourself up and give yourself permission to move on and be happy. You’re human after all. Look in the mirror, take a few deep breaths and smile.

Please note that forgiveness is a process even when you’re forgiving yourself. Thoughts may re-occur and the feelings may try to creep back, but it’s up to you to remind yourself that it’s over and done and you’re not going back to that place.

Now you’ve not only cleaned your physical house, but your mental and emotional as well. However this is not a one-time process, just like your actual home, your mental and emotional space will most likely get cluttered again. However, the more you clean and learn about yourself, the less mess you’ll make going forward. With enough time and effort, it won’t be spring cleaning anymore, but a brief tidying up in order to maintain what you’ve obtained which is peace.