What does it mean to be a man in this day and age?
Posted on June 13, 2013 by Donald Sorterup, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Your relationship with your father will determine your idea of manhood. Are you still vying for his approval? Who are you as a man?
Long gone are the days when we worked side by side with our fathers and our grandfathers. The industrial age took our fathers from the farm and they went off to work for companies and factories.
I learned what it meant to be a man by spending time with my father and observing him. In my late teens and early 20’s I started to make decisions on how I wanted to define my manhood. My father asked me to enlist in ROTC while a student at Boston University, I said, no. It didn’t align with my thoughts on how I wanted to define my manhood. I chose to be self-employed based on my observations of his life in corporate america.
What impacted your idea of manhood?
As Father’s Day approaches I respect, admire and accept the decisions my father made for himself and the family. Equally so, I respect, admire and accept the decisions I’ve made to define my own manhood.
I came across a startling quote from David Deida a number of years ago. The chapter was entitled: Live as if your father was dead. “Imagine that your father has died, or remember when he did die. Are there any feelings of relief associated with his death? Now that he is dead, is any part of you happy that you need not live up to his expectations or suffer his criticisms? How would you have lived your life differently if you had never tried to please your father? If you never tried to show your father that you were worthy? If you never felt burdened by your fathers critical eye?”
This quote reminded me to decide who I wanted to be as a man.
Men talk a lot about what they have in life, but not so much about who they are in life. Our who defines our what, not the other way around.
I am aware, strong, determined, loving, adventurous, curious, and the list goes on.
Who are you as a man?
Explore your ideas and thoughts in an empowering coaching conversation with me.
