eSparkler in Conversation with Emotional Intelligence
Posted on June 09, 2013 by Jovian Koh, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Jovian's intuitive work from reading 'Emotional Intelligence and Your Success', to find out how importance EI and its daily application.
eSparkler: I read quite a number of books and articles about you. But they are either too technical or too wordy. In a few words, tell me what are you?
EI: You cannot deny all the expert research and studies on me over decades. In fact, if you trace, I have existed as far as human exist, and gain good recognition since 1900s. But to satisfy your quest on Emotional Intelligence, I say EI works within and outside you. ‘Works within’ is the self- management on your responses. ‘Works outside’ is your chosen reactions to implement at work, at home and in social relations. I am your selfish agenda. Ultimately what you want is an overall well-being for yourself. I am your set of ‘emotional and social skills that influence the way how you perceive and express; develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.
eSparkler: There are many tools around to test Emotional Intelligence. Seriously, I think it can be invasive if you are trying to say that my EQ needs to be work on!
EI: It never works that way! EI tests, for instance, you have been administering EQ-I 2.0, they provide avenue for feedback. In daily life, don’t we often seek feedback from others on the things we do? We do ask for feedback when we baked a cake, or even use tools to feedback on how fast or far we run? Because Time never stop, Change never cease. Our culture and our environment change. Hence the way we reacted many years ago may no longer get the same reaction today. So we need to keep adjusting ourselves for sake of our own well-being. The stronger your EI, the greater your chances for more successes, unless you just want to stay where you are. For big organizations like McDonalds and HP, use EQ-I for Leadership Development. Readers who are not as fortunate to be sponsored for such feedback, save one big feast and get your feedback today, with eSparkler, of course. Haha.
eSparkler: That is so nice of you to help profile me & my service. That’s the exhibit of, I would deem, EI subscale ‘Assertiveness’. You know what you stand for and how important you are to human beings; and you communicate clearly and being sensitive to others and their responses. Now, let’s be more application based. Tell me about EI and ‘Dealing with difficult people’.
EI: This is interesting topic. Everyone at some point of times, seem to be facing ‘difficult people’. It can really drain one’s energy and demoralizing. Let’s try to use the subscales (from EQ-I 2.0) and look at the different perspectives. ‘The incident’: Use your REALITY TESTING to objectively assess if the issue is really he trying to be difficult or you added pepper and emotion. ‘You’: Be EMOTIONALLY SELF-AWARE what are you feeling, be ASSERTIVE when you express your feelings, beliefs and thoughts, exercise your IMPULSE CONTROL and apply PROBLEM SOLVING. Be FLEXIBLE and maybe apply some EMPATHY on the person. Understand if he does it out of his ‘fear’ or ‘limited belief’, for instance. Remain OPTIMISTIC and believe you can maintain a mutually satisfying (INTERPERSONAL) RELATIONSHIP with him, even if he seems the ‘unwilling’ one. Ultimately, we want an overall Happiness for ourselves, don’t we?
eSparkler: I would admit it is so sensible but I guess it needs a lot of discipline and conscious to regulate our emotion especially if the person really appear to be ‘always being difficult’. However, you pointed something that is equally important. That is, trying to look from his perspective. Maybe there is something he lack or fear or simply uncomfortable because of our behavior and response too. Can get too profound but I guess you are right; life is a constant journey with changes. Hence why don’t we believe we can change the response to the ‘difficult people’ because we want ourselves to be happy!
EI: Yes, helping others (looking at their perspective) is also helping yourself. When you do your EQ-I 2.0 assessment, look out for the subscales where you can try better balance them and think of situations that have been recurring and how you can apply them in future. Not to panic, because administrator cum consultants like eSparkler, can help you with that. Moreover, couple with Coaching sessions, you get to clear your ‘channel’ and release all the irritable emotions and discover your deeper strengths in coping strategies that resonate in you. O, am I referring to your professional service again?
eSparkler: Yes, you are and I am appreciating every words in and out of your intention to spread words on what I do to help others. Now, it is getting late. And we shall schedule another round of conversation about EI and Leadership, soon. I thank you and your wisdom.
EI: O, you are very much welcome. In fact, I am really looking forward to our conversation on my influence over Leadership. Look at Bill Gates and many great leaders of their times, Flexibility is one of the game changing EQ agent to business turnaround. Alright, I shall keep it for our next round. Remember; be Happy and always look out for gratitude on yourself and for others.
