What to do when life throws you a curve ball?
Posted on May 13, 2013 by Natalia Chouklina, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Three actions to take when you find yourself in a jam and the answer doesn't readily present itself.
It’s a fact – life is full of corners. These corners can throw off our plans and interrupt our carefully crafted and practiced routines without any warning whatsoever. My personal experience taught me that some of these corners often come up pretty fast and are dangerously sharp. It’s not uncommon to feel completely lost, trapped and disoriented when you find yourself facing one.
Do you need to make it to a meeting but your flight is 8 hours delayed? Did you just get into a healthy routine but you broke your leg and you can forget about any exercise (let alone walking) for 10 weeks? Did you get laid off your job unexpectedly?
I know, this is so infuriating! Here is the thing, life happens. No amount of careful planning and managing the situation can change the fact that we simply can’t control everything in life. All of us are eventually come face to face with a random event that takes us completely by surprise and leaves us speechless.
When life throws you a curve ball and you can’t move forward , let alone see the road in front of you, follow these three steps to get your bearings and to turn your frown upside down.
1. Accept that you have a choice! – Shit happens to everyone, my friends, and it seems that it is your turn. There is only so much planning and risk managing you can do (and I’m sure you did it all) but some things are simply out of your control.
A very important choice awaits you. You get to choose how you react to this situation and what to do with it. You have an array of emotions and reactions available for you to pick from and you can choose any of them.
Getting upset and angry is one option. After waiting for a few hours on hold, you may decide to get into a screaming match with an airline rep because it seems like an awesome idea right about now! You can also choose to stay calm and optimistic. Yes, this is not a desirable situation by any stretch, it blows, but there is little you can do to change it right now.
2. Every corner is an opportunity for growth – Random and unpredictable events force us into a position in which we have to give up or reconsider something in order to make the experience more bearable. Majority of the time any negative emotions that follow can be traced back to the feeling of discomfort associated with giving up something because it’s not serving you right now. It’s expansion and growth in action and it can be very trying.
Ask yourself “What is it exactly that’s making me feel uncomfortable?” and “What can this experience teach me about my identity?” What can you learn about letting go of control after sitting on a tarmac for three hours? What can broken leg teach you about being in the flow and giving up the need to be rigid?
3. Move ahead with gratitude – I wrote about the importance of gratitude and it’s practice here. As far as I know, this is the best tool available to turn around any negative emotions. I was deeply inspired by this quote by Gay Hendricks about to feeling good and it’s direct connection to gratitude:
“All of us can find the and nurture the capacity for positive feelings now, rather than waiting until some longed-for event occurs. If you focus for a moment, you can always find some place in you that feels good right now. Your task is to give the expanding positive feeling your full attention. When you do, you will find that it expands with your attention. Let yourself enjoy it as long as you possibly can.”
Focus on something that makes you feel good about this situation and something you can be grateful for despite the circumstances you are in. If you can’t find any place in you where you feel good about this situation, create a positive thought about it in your mind. Using the plane example, float a new thought in your mind such as “I’m glad that I have this opportunity to practice silent meditation, I’ve been thinking about this for a while” or “I’m happy that the airline is taking every precautions to get me to my destination safely”.
Give these positive thoughts your fullest attention and watch your mood instantly change and your heart fill with hope. As you become more skilled with this practice, you will notice the outer aspects of your life change to match the expanding feeling inside you.
It may not seem this way at the moment but without these sharp corners and difficult situations our lives would amount to a bunch of very boring stories. These turns are the events that make us stronger, smarter and more resilient. If you find yourself in a jam, it means that you are living your life and challenging yourself to take on new heights and to experience new things. Take a moment to appreciate how radical this idea is.
