Happiness is a Choice

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Rosanne Kerr, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Happiness Is a Choice

Habits of thinking need not be forever. One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think. – Martin Seligman

How often do we conduct our lives, as if the choice of happiness is not an option available to us? For example, how often do we stay in a relationship or a job because we think it is a luxury to choose happiness? We may choose money and security over fulfillment and happiness, or choose to stay in a marriage for our children’s sake, financial security and social status. We make choices every day that impact our happiness and well-being.

I once had an acquaintance tell me “if something bad is going to happen, it will happen to me.” It is not hard to infer that this person is filled with a great deal of negativity and dissatisfaction with his life. It will be very difficult for him to make any kind of positive change, until he recognizes that he does have a choice in how happy his life will be. He needs to understand that he can choose to have a life with greater well-being and positivity.

I recently read Choose the Life You Want: 101 Ways to Create Your Own Road to Happiness by Tal Ben-Shahar (2012). This New York Times bestselling author is well-known for offering Harvard’s first Positive Psychology class, which became Harvard’s most popular class, attracting twenty per cent of all undergraduates. His insightful book reminds us that the first step toward change is recognizing that we have a choice in the life we live. His book will change how you think, and make you rethink how you live your life.

Choosing to take action that you believe will increase positivity, well-being and fulfillment should be seen as a necessity, not as a luxury. Sonja Lyubomirsky’s (2007 & 2013) research has shown that forty percent of our happiness is a result of the choices we make and only ten per cent is a result of our circumstances. Our circumstances include such things as our social position, career, income, and marital status, and in the end these circumstances do not impact our happiness as much as the choices we make in day to day life.

We should whenever possible participate in activities that bring us joy, complete work that provides us with meaning and fulfillment, and create opportunities to strengthen our relationships. If we first recognize that our happiness is a direct result of the choices we make, we will soon recognize the importance of pursuing those things that will bring us the most happiness. These day to day choices will lead to the life we desire.

This is not selfish, in fact by doing this you will become a better partner, friend, parent, and colleague. Your choice to focus on your happiness will unleash increased creativity, energy, and resilience which will benefit everyone who is close to you. The happier life you have chosen will bring you greater health, success, and productivity in all aspects of your life. Tal Ben-Shahar and Sonja Lyubomirsky, along with other Positive Psychology experts remind us that having greater happiness in our life is possible, and pursuing what will make us happy is our choice to make.

References:

Ben-Shahar, T. (2012). Choose the life you want: 101 ways to create your own road to happiness. New York, US: The Experiment.

Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). The how of happiness: A new approach to Getting the life you want. New York, US: Penguin Group.

Lyubomirsky, S. (2013). The myths of Happiness. New York, US: Penguin Press.