Playing the Inner Game to Win
Posted on April 21, 2013 by Angela Joyner, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
Do you have what it takes to win? Learn how to effect real change in your life.
Sarah has worked at her company for more than four years and knows she does a great job. Her boss even tells her so. She wants to ask for a raise for several months, but it just never seems like the right time to ask. At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.
But could it really be that Sarah is afraid of rejection? Or on some level—perhaps a subconscious one—she doesn’t feel she “deserves” to get paid well for the work she does?
“In every human endeavor there are two arenas of engagement: the outer and the inner,” says Tim Gallwey, author of The Inner Game of Work. “The outer game is played on an external arena to overcome external obstacles. The inner game takes place within the mind and is played to overcome the self-imposed obstacles.”
You can try harder to change by taking more action in the “outside,” physical world. But if you’re powered by limiting beliefs and negative feelings, chances are you’re just going to go faster in the wrong direction.
So how do you effect real change? Who do influence the type of change that originates from within? The first step is to identify just what is holding you back. Some common internal roadblocks are:
• Fear. Probably the most popular culprit, the list of fears is endless. Whatever your fears, they prevent you in some way from experiencing your full potential.
• Thinking small. If you expect less, you get less. If you come from a place of lack, you will feel like you don’t have enough. You have to think big and believe you can have success before you will actually experience it.
• Being out of balance. When we focus on certain areas of our lives to the exclusion of others, we experience stress and incongruence. We often seek to have more work life balance. Our focus should be on a life rhythm that acknowledges that at different seasons in our life, one aspect may have higher importance than another. We should seek to find a rhythm that is suitable for our lives.
• Lack of motivation. Without passion for what you’re doing, it is difficult to get moving in any direction. Surround yourself with people and experiences that inspire you. Discover how you are motivated and strive to fill your life with those things with which you are passionate.
Once you determine your specific roadblocks, it’s time to face them head on and reprogram your beliefs. You may have to and define or revise your life priorities and purpose. Working with a coach can help you to determine a practical strategy for navigating the roadblocks. Steven Covey of Seven Habits suggests writing a personal mission statement (as you would for a company) and then organizing your life around it.
For the goals that seem impossible to accomplish, Barbara Sher, career counselor and best-selling author, suggests throwing an “idea party.” Get a group of people together and take turns throwing out your ideas and their obstacles—you’ll be surprised at some of the creative answers you’ll receive.
But whatever you do, keep looking inside. Take responsibility for what you create externally and work on winning the inner game. When you do, you’ll start winning in the outer world, too.
Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications
