Goal Setting - The Good, Bad and Ugly
Posted on April 15, 2013 by Heather Gratt, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Achieve your goals! This is a four step process to get you on the road to accomplishment today.
“Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” – Seneca, 4 BC – 65 AD.
Often in an employment setting, one is regarded highly when they are “goal-oriented”. Goals motivate behavior because we want to achieve them. They become part of our identity. From a psychological perspective, the strength to motivate depends upon three elements: aspiration, affect and self-efficacy. These elements essentially elicit a two-part question within us: Will achieving this goal translate to a positive or negative feeling , and what is the likelihood of me achieving the goal? In order to have the drive to achieve the goal, a person must have the desire to want more or to do better. The problem for most people is that they do not have the desire because of a fear of failure. Think about a goal you’ve recently accomplished. When you reach a goal you feel happy. When you fail to achieve a goal you feel sad. For this reason, we sometimes shy away from pursing goals we think we will fail. It makes sense. Success = Good/Pleasure. Failure=Bad/Pain. It’s part of the basic premise of psychological functioning.
If you are struggling to accomplish goals (like many of us), not to worry. The good news is that you can shift your thinking into goal-need mode with these simple steps:
1) Day Dream. Imagine the moment. Imagine how it feels to accomplish the goal.
Feel the joy. Feel the pride and feel a sense of satisfaction consume every part of you. Do you want to earn a graduate degree? Imagine yourself walking on stage and receiving your diploma. Visualize your family’s beaming smiles watching you from the audience. Hold your diploma in your hand and run your fingers across the embossed letters of your name. Feel the slight raise of each letter. Hear your client comment on the new diploma hanging in your office, and feel the emotions the comment brings. Try to evoke all of your senses in the feeling to make it powerful. Repeat this process until you get excited every time the thought comes mind. You will begin to feel an overwhelming need, as if you simply must achieve your goal. There is no other option except to achieve your goal.
2) There it is! Now think about the goal again, but this time think about what you need to do to accomplish it. What’s different? It should feel real, it should feel within reach – just over the hurdle, just beyond that hill, or just around the corner. It’s close. You can see it, and you can feel yourself moving toward it. When you create a need, you also create a connection to satisfying the need within yourself. Returning to college is no longer too expensive, too much of a commitment or not a priority. Your goal becomes innate and feels the same as your desire to eat when you are hungry.
3) Attack! Now you have established a clear vision of your goal and created a positive emotion to attach to it. The next step is planning your attack. How will you accomplish your goal? What steps will you take? Be specific, with lots of detail. It isn’t good enough to simply say, “I will return to school”. You must say, “I am going to research three universities and available programs today”. It is important to start progress toward your goal when your drive is at it’s peak. Do whatever you can to make a step in the right direction immediately.
4) Feed it. Nurture that need like your life depends on it – in some respects, it does. Think of the example we are using. An advanced degree can lead to more prestige, higher earning potential, increased confidence and improved sense of self. Does that improve your quality of life? Of course it does. Do things that remind you of why you creating your goal or do something to make revive your initial excitement. If you find yourself drifting away from your goal, don’t panic and doubt your ability. Simply get back on track by repeating the steps above.
You can do this. A process is only as hard as you make it. Remember, think about the goal positively, visualize yourself accomplishing it, attach meaning and nurture it. It’s that simple. By following this process, you are unstoppable!
