If We Encouraged our Children and Each Other to Soar
Posted on April 14, 2013 by Regina Hellinger, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Inquiries for parents on the greatest ways they can contribute to their children's well being and happiness. Published by CTI.
I am currently preparing a presentation for parents on ways to help their children pursue the future that taps into their greatest gifts, makes them feel most alive, and connects them to their greatest passions. However, as I am preparing this work I am becoming more and more concerned about my audience and their reaction to my message. Running through my mind are thoughts of “don’t let them think you are discouraging these kids from becoming doctors and lawyers” and “parents aren’t going to support something that leads their children down a path of being a poor starving artist type”. While in no way am I promoting the route of starvation for anybody, I realize that connecting young adults with the things that make their spirits soar can lead them anywhere. There is an uncertainty in this that can be exhilarating, especially for the young adult, and that can also be very scary, especially for the parent!
What do we do, as parents, when our children have a dream that they want to pursue that we fear is risky? Do we sweep in to persuade them that they need to go after a guaranteed pay check so that they do not have to deal with poverty, adversity, and disappointment as adults? For many, this is our first reaction because it is our main priority to take care of our children. I am starting to realize though that taking care of another human being is less about keeping that person free from adversity and more about honoring them being as unique and needing a tailored approach, rather than a “one size fits all” approach. What if we thought of our role as parents as helping them find the best tailor out there that will work to accentuate their talents and interests so that the rest of the world could see their magnificence highlighted like a custom Armani suit? What if we needed no certainty other than the certainty we have in who our children are? Scary as it may sound; I think it is worth the time to reflect on a few inquiries before we immediately opt for the safe, well trodden path, such as:
What are the risks and benefits beyond security of my child taking a divergent path to adulthood/career?
When looking back on the times in our lives that we felt most alive and valuable, what was it that we were doing?
What is the worst thing that could happen if our children follow their dreams?
What is possible if our children move toward their dreams with courage and confidence, as well as the support of their parents?
By the willingness to simply explore these questions, we replace fear with openness in the space between our children and ourselves, which creates a whole new energy of validation, respect and creativity.
In this courageous willingness to surrender our need to seek safety we honor our children’s unique magnificence, and end up giving them what they need from us more than anything in the world: Faith, Hope, and Love…not to mention an amazing role model.
If all parents had the courage to do this, I wonder what the future would look like for our children as they create together communities of passionate, dedicated, compassionate, and authentic individuals. Is there a future out there that we haven’t even dared to dream possible yet?
