Swimming to your Goals

Posted on April 12, 2013 by Ben Dooley, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

Ah, June. School is out, the warm weather is here, and the best thing for kids to do is to just play and have fun. For me, this time of year, reminds me of the four years of my life when I would get up early and ride my bike down to the local pool where I worked as a Lifeguard. Admittedly, it was an easy job, but cool job as well—I looked cool in the uniform swimsuit, I make sure I always had unique (and cool) sunglasses so that I could look cool sitting in the chair watching all the local urchins thrash around in the water. I got to strut around the perimeter and toot my whistle and coolly catching the troublemakers and roughhousers.
However, in the mornings I would lower my coolness and actually get in the water, and teach kids how to swim.
I remember it clearly, some kids were fearless, ready to leap from the edge into the water—three-year olds flying off the diving board into my waiting arms while I was treading in 12 feet of water, many of them landing on my head instead. It seemed like anything I offered them, they took it on regardless of whatever fears they were supposed to have. I could pick them up and literally toss them into the water, and they’d come paddling back for more, jubilant and gleeful grins on their faces. They wanted to be in that water and nothing was going to stop them. Water was not only fun, it was exciting.
Then there were those diligent students who took my instructions and exercises and kept trying their best—sometimes succeeding, sometimes not, but always learning and growing. Their education was a mix of fun and fear—just enough of each to keep them wanting more.
And then there was always that one little kid who didn’t grow up near a pool. Their family never went swimming and they’ve developed an uncomfortably around large bodies of water. Some were even downright fear filled and under great protest were forced to go to class.
These were the kids that I knew I couldn’t take and toss into the deep end. They weren’t ready for it and would not only freak out, but most likely that too-far-too-fast action would only reinforce their resistance. No, even then, I knew that what was needed was a gentler, but still firm, touch.
(Luckily there were two of us, so one would instruct the rest of the class in a drill while the other would work with those who needed some extra attention.)
First, in fact, we wouldn’t even go in the water. We’d sit on the bench a good seven feet away and just watch the shimmering surface. It was a very safe place that far back, on solid ground. You could rely on the ground, you trusted the ground. You can’t trust the water. And yet, we could watch it, appreciate it, begin to hear the lapping on the side as almost a beckoning to us. “Come and play in me.” But we would resist and stay safe.
After a while, I’d ask if we could perhaps sit on the ground and slide a little closer. We wouldn’t go any further than they were comfortable. The important thing was to build trust with the child, let them know that they have the choice. They almost always said “yes”, as long as I was with them.
Slowly and steadily we’d move closer and closer towards the edge of the pool. Sometimes it would take more than a single class period—maybe it was over the course of a few days, or even weeks. It was different for every boy and girl, and it was our task to continue to push them at their own rate, all the while, they were watching their classmates advancing to their new skills and accomplishments. That was part of the lure. It wasn’t a competition—“We’re doing it, so why can’t you?”—that would just add to the shut-down. Watching all those kids having fun in the water began to act as an invitation—more like “Come and play with us. You’ll love it.” That soft unspoken calling would tantalize them, encourage them to take one more skootch closer.
Finally we’d get to the water, and lying down (so that we’re really safe—you can’t fall in if you’re lying down) we’d stick out hands in the water.
Then we’d evolve to a sitting position, eventually dipping our toes, then letting our legs dangle all the way in.
Swimming about in water can be incredibly scary. People have drowned and gotten hurt, and these children know what’s possible if something goes wrong. They know it a little too well. The trick is to slide past those fears and let them safely experience the other possibilities—the ones of success and fun. Swimming can be exciting, refreshing, social, creative, and a whole other load of wonderfulness, including just being able to do it.
I can tell you that by the end of the summer, every single one of those kids were in the water, playing around, jumping, diving, bobbing, hunting for tossed pennies. They all just needed to learn and stretch at their own pace.

And what about you? What is your “deep end”?
Whatever it is, instead of running wildly and leaping into the air, plunging headfirst into that which freaks you out, perhaps this time, just take a seat on the bench seven feet away and take a look at what you’re there to do—what you’re moving towards. And then little by little, take another step closer, and closer, until you can just dabble your fingers in it. Then dangle your feet. Splash a little “water” on your body and feel the refreshing tingle. Then, when you’re ready, slip in your whole body, but hang on to the side, and then stretch one arm out… keeping the other firmly to the cement edge. And then, when you’re ready, let go… for just a moment, and grab back. All the while, feel your feet touching the bottom of the pool. Maybe try floating a little bit, or putting your face in the water and blowing some bubbles. Little by little, you’ll keep making progress, until before you know it, you’ll be leaping off the diving board… and onto someone’s head.