“The Chinese Finger Trap.”
Posted on April 08, 2013 by Ben Dooley, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Did you ever think that a simple childhood toy could unlock your success? It's easy when you know the secret.
The Chinese finger trap? What’s that?
Well, it’s something I remember from my childhood, perhaps you’ve seen it. It’s a rather innocent looking tube made of something like straw (or even the more insidious nylon) that’s just wide enough for you to stick your two fingers into each end. Kind of like a muff for your fingers, made of dried banana leaves. The only problem is, when you try to pull your fingers out, you pull on the tube, and the weaving contracts around your fingers, thus making the grip on you tighter and you can’t pull your fingers out. So what do you do? Simple, you pull even more, which constricts the tube tighter and traps your fingers even more securely. And on it goes.
Ok, so perhaps if I relax a little… Then pull quickly! Nope. It only wraps tightly around your fingers, but this time quickly, which hurts a little.
Panic begins to set in. Now that instinct of “fight or flight” kicks in. Your fingers are trapped and it hurts. Your urgency to get out has increased. Pull harder! Pull harder! Try to break your way out! Now you’re struggling, pulling desperately every which way. But this stuff is strong. Its fibers weave over itself creating tremendous reinforcement and resilience. You really can’t force your way out.
This is why they call it the finger trap. The more you struggle, the worse it gets.
How do you get out?
Actually it’s quite simple. While your instinct tells you that in order to get out, you must move your hands in the direction you want to go, the real solution is just the opposite. You must relax, and move your fingers into the center. If the action of pulling outward tightens the trap, then clearly pushing inward releases—enough so that it’s grip on you is completely gone, and then—and only then—can you remove your fingers.
Easy. When you know how.
So are you getting how this translates to your own life?
Sometimes you get caught in traps of you own, and your natural instinct tells you to run away.
Instead, try relaxing sometimes, not focusing all the attention on getting out, but noticing how it feels. How does the experience of the “tube pinching your fingers” and the “tightness” when you “pull” serve as a metaphor for what you’re struggling with in your life? Soon enough you may begin to realize that doing more of the way you’ve been doing it is not working. And instead of struggling and fighting, you may simply need to relax, breathe, and push your “fingers” in. It’s also referred to as “leaning in,” and it’s pretty cool when it happens.
In fact, when you step away from that auto-pilot instinct of “run away,” and simply get present to what you are experiencing, the solution is almost always present.
It’s easy…
…when you know how.
