Change the Default Setting
Posted on March 24, 2013 by Kay Williams, One of Thousands of Health and Fitness Coaches on Noomii.
In order to make lasting change, we have to change our default settings. Going where we've always gone won't get us to where we want to be.
Do you ever eat by default? Eating, or doing anything else by default, is operating under a system that is automatic and may or may not serve you. In the case of what you eat, the default setting is the food you go to without thinking. It’s the food that is easy and has been comforting you for longer than you can remember.
Your computer comes with default settings. If those settings don’t serve you and how you work, you have to actually go into the control panel and change them. Have you ever used a default setting by default? All of a sudden one day, you’re complaining to a friend who is more “techy” than you about what your computer is doing. They tell you to change a default setting and when you do the heavens open and the angels sing! It was a minor adjustment, but made your life easier. What’s not to love?
Think of a hiking trail that is very clear because of the many footprints that have worn a path that others can easily follow. In the case of a well-worn hiking trail, it takes a while of rerouting foot traffic before that trail is no longer visible.
Hiking trails don’t become well-worn quickly. It takes more than a quick adjustment to make a new path our default path. Humans are more like hiking trails than computers when it comes to creating a new default setting. The good news is that it is totally possible to stomp down those weeds, make a new path, and let the old one become overgrown!
If you have ever made a decision to change your eating habits, you know the drill. You decide that you need to make a change. Perhaps you want to lose some unwanted weight. Maybe you have experienced digestive issues and you are ready to eliminate the cause of the problem. You might have read a compelling article on organically grown food and have decided that you and your family deserve higher quality nutrition.
Most likely, your good intention lasted a few days, weeks, or maybe even months and then wham! Your job responsibilities became overwhelming, a primary relationship hit a bump, you had a financial snafu, you injured yourself and were unable to be as physically active as you normally are.
When those kinds of bumps occur, we tend to veer off of that new path we’re creating and where do we go? Back to the old, well-worn path of course. It’s familiar and comfortable. It hasn’t grown over completely because it hasn’t been that long since it was travelled.
So you know you’re going back to the old path. You know it’s not in line with your new intention, but you feel a need for comfort. You might even rationalize that you deserve this little trip down Default Lane because you are dealing with too much on your plate. Most likely though, you will simply go there mindlessly. That’s why it’s the default path.
As a former student of mine used to say, “What to do, what to do?” You have several choices, but they all really come down to going one direction or the other. The “what” is pretty simplistic, but the “how”, not so much.
It takes time to develop new ways of thinking, being, and behaving. If you find yourself having an intention to be or do things differently over the long haul, there are two things you need to do.
First of all be nice to yourself! Being gentle with yourself is absolutely necessary. When you find yourself back on the default path, forgive yourself, and move back to that new trail. Begin again to tread on the pathway you want to become the new default! The worst thing you can do is tell yourself you just aren’t cut out for this new path. It doesn’t matter how many times you have to do this. It will eventually become automatic.
The second thing to do is find someone who will support you in a loving way. There is most likely someone you know who has successfully changed a habit or pattern and would be happy to be your cheerleader. Ask them to check in with you on a regular basis. Maybe they could simply ask you if you’re creating your new path or if the old default path is becoming overgrown. It doesn’t matter what they say, just that you make contact and know that someone is in your court.
If you find you need a higher level of support to create lasting change, a coach may be the answer. Coaching provides you with the kind of support that friends aren’t always able to give. Friends sometimes don’t want to call you out for fear of damaging the friendship. A coach is someone you are paying to call you out, but also to cheer you on louder than you’ve ever been cheered on before!
No one ever gets to the point where they have it all down and don’t need to create new and improved habits. Enjoy the process and appreciate the journey!
