Moving forward with all of the pieces

Posted on March 03, 2013 by Angel Thomas, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.

There is good and/or bad residue left in every relationship once it is over, but you don’t have to leave the pieces that help you build the foundation for new relationships behind.

So often I hear women complaining to their friends about the appearance of their ex’s new girlfriend. They comment on her style, her looks, what she drives, where she works and how he will never find anyone like her. Only simple minded individuals will look at a situation from this perspective. Strong relationships are not built on looks, style and money; they’re built on trust, communication and the response your heart gives when you’re with that person.

The most beautiful people in the world are lonely, and there are plenty of rich people who are not fulfilled, not because they don’t look like a nice arm piece, but because a whole person understands and knows that those are not the things a relationship that is searching for happily ever after are built upon.

There are people who are only concerned with how you look, how much you can give them and what you can do for them, but for those who are seeking REAL-ationships, there is an understanding that it takes more than money and looks to make a relationship successful because neither of the two are permanent.

Start with entering the healing process. The healing process does not automatically go into effect at the ending of a relationship; it is something you have to choose to activate. Accept that the relationship is over, regardless who ended it. Clear your head of any unforgiveness and or resentment and ask God to purify your heart.

During this process learn to be alone. A part of heartache is familiarity. You’ve become accustomed to having someone to create memories and share experiences with, and having that routine abruptly interrupted can sometimes be challenging. Treat yourself to dinner or maybe go shopping for a new outfit and those perfect pair of pumps! Become your own best friend. Find out who you are, how you’ve changed and zoom in on the positive and negative things that you took from the relationship.

Revamp your outlook, perspective and reasoning, refocus your wants, needs and boundaries and repair yourself to prepare for the next relationship once your heart and mind are ready to enter.

The time between relationships is not to squeeze someone else in or to fill your head space with negativity concerning the new girl in your ex’s life, but to think about what you’ve learned and how you will move forward with all of the pieces!