How To Love Yourself Part 1
Posted on February 22, 2013 by Passion Provokers, One of Thousands of Relationship Coaches on Noomii.
Do you really love yourself? Are you worthy? Join us as we explore the different faces of love, and learn how to begin your self-love journey.
By Ariel Minter (Team Coordinator for Passion Provokers)
I think loving yourself is one of the hardest things we ever learn to do. On the surface, it’s easy to say that some people seem to REALLY love themselves. But, ultimately, I really think that even “those people” don’t really, truly, love themselves.
Now, let me preface all of this by saying there is a BIG difference between loving yourself and worshipping yourself. Narcissism is completely different from what I am talking about.
The 3 Different Faces of “Love”
1. Eros: erotic love. This basically means sex, lust, etc.
2. Philos: brotherly love. So you and your best friend share a “philos” rooted love; and
3. Agape: unconditional and all encompassing love. This is the love that is comparable to perfect love, regardless of what flaws are present.
“Agape” love is the type that individuals are aiming for when they speak of loving themselves. It means knowing you have cellulite but loving who you are anyway. It’s knowing it will take 6 years to get that degree because maybe you didn’t take school too seriously in the beginning, but knowing your worth doesn’t come from finishing in 4 years. It means that, even though you may not be the typical “perfect” person, you still have value and can see past the flaws. It means that you are on a self-love journey that offers you stability in even the most painful of times.
We all know the analysis of our society’s standards for perfection. It is plastered on billboards, magazines, television, your favorite novel….these standards on what you’re worth are inherited by the society you live in. And, unfortunately, ours is not very redeeming.
I am convinced that we really are the biggest critics in our lives. I believe that many of us beat ourselves up over the smallest things, and end up focusing on a simple mistake for the majority of our days.
The beauty in all of this is that it is possible to love yourself without narcissism. It is possible to love yourself even though you’ve made mistakes. It is possible to love yourself even if you gained a few pounds over the holidays. It is possible to love yourself even if your children refuse to listen to you. It is possible to love yourself even though your dog refuses to be house-trained. And it is possible to love yourself even if someone breaks up with you.
What does it mean to love yourself? What would it take to love yourself, and feel worthy of love? And are you living your life in a way that makes that achievable?
