5 Steps for Showing Up as a Leader When You Simply Don’t Wanna!
Posted on February 08, 2013 by Jordanna Eyre, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.
Is it possible that the times you least want to be a leader could be the times you exhibit the best leadership?
Being a leader of anything requires the cultivation of many qualities: awareness, strength, compassion, presence, the ability to hold space for others, foresight, and plenty of energy, just to name a few. And let’s face it, no matter how much you may love being a leader, there are days when I’m betting you just don’t feel like being and cultivating all of that! Whether you are a born leader or not, it takes a lot of energy and continued effort to be able to remain a solid, understanding, and effective leader. So what about the days when you simply can’t bear to keep going?
The world we live in is not a vacuum, void of the dynamic energies that sometimes take hold of us. And because of that dynamic nature, it’s also impossible to completely separate our personal and professional lives; and sh&% happens. Something may go array in business, in our personal lives, or we may wake up feeling the weight of the world and not know why. And it’s all okay. Part of what makes us such great leaders is being able to trust the perfection of everything in the end. But we’re human and we also have the right to feel crummy sometimes, before we have to pull ourselves back up by our bootstraps and motivate the masses. In fact, it’s important we take the time to be with our feelings so that we can process them, and move on stronger and able to hold space for others. So how do we let ourselves have a bad day, while we’re still in leadership mode? If “snapping out of it” isn’t healthy, then what is?!
1. Do what works first.
If you must still face the world in spite of how you feel, don’t disregard any routine you may normally have to feel whole during the day. Sometimes nothing makes us feel better when we’re having a bad day, but those things that have the capacity to are even more important during hard times. Whatever works for you to feel prepared for your day, make time for it — whether it’s yoga, journaling, an early morning strategic planning session, juicing, a workout, or half an hour of doing nothing before your busy day begins. Even if the things that usually help don’t seem to do anything for your crummy feeling, they will still help hold you together during the roughest moments of the day.
2. Delegate.
Don’t try to be perfect. Part of being an inspiring leader is setting an example for those you’re leading. Would you want for one of your employees to forge on through something they’re not fully capable of doing well, just so that it goes unnoticed? Or would you rather they speak up and ask for help where they need it, to ensure the job is done well? I’m guessing the latter. So why wouldn’t you set the example and also speak up when in need to? Just because you’re in charge, doesn’t mean you have to be able to do everything, all of the time.
3. Trust in connection.
If you need to be present during an important meeting, or with an important colleague that day, remember that one of the gifts of being a woman is being fueled and inspired by connection. If you’re feeling crummy, don’t assume you’ll feel just as crummy when in front of that colleague or that room of people. I’ve had many a day when I didn’t feel like myself, but was essentially brought back to life by an obligation I had to give a presentation or show up at a meeting, or even by allowing a friend to stop by regardless of my initial desire to be alone. Trust that a little human connection may actually help you feel more like yourself again!
4. Be transparent.
It’s simply a fact that everyone has bad days. Just in the way #2 allows you to lead by example, so does transparency about where you’re really at. If someone you were leading were a little off their game due to something they were dealing with, wouldn’t you rather know it? It’s better that than to make up a story about what’s going on and make it worse than it is. Your team or community will not see you as “less than” because you’re imperfect. Often it’s what we don’t want people to see that inspires them the most.
5. Be gentle with yourself.
Pushing yourself into feeling better never really helps in the end. If it take a few hours or a few days, trust that it’s a necessary part of the process of becoming the best version of yourself. If there’s a genuine problem to deal with, give yourself time to gain true clarity before moving forward. And if you don’t know why you feel so awful, don’t force yourself back into feeling good just because you “should”. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about leadership over the years, it’s that authenticity is integral. You may be Superwoman, but you’re also human, and you deserve to be nurtured and have your needs met, too.
