This Might Be Why She Lost That Lovin' Feeling.

Posted on June 29, 2010 by Mark Aguirre, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

1. People want what they can’t have …and they want more of what they have to work for.

Ever noticed that cats never seem available when you arrive home from work but the dog is ALWAYS begging at your feet for attention? Now ask yourself: which animal do you take for granted and which do you seem to always pursue?

By constantly making yourself available (dog), you’re actually diminishing your value. This is not a trick, but a function of human behavior. The law of scarcity *is prevalent and relevant in every area of our lives – that which is plentiful is often under-appreciated and that which is rare(cat*) is held in high regard and considered valuable.

For example: When you are dating someone whom you are NOT interested in, you tend to make yourself available when it’s convenient for YOU. And when you’re dating someone who you DO like, you’re consistently available and at his beckon call. Stop and do the reverse!

When you’re dating someone you don’t like too much and if you’re NOT baking cookies for him, calling him twice a day, asking where the relationship is going, and so on, then DON’T do it with the person you like either. It works!

2. A person likes you based on how you make her feel about herself. Make her feel good and she will feel good about you.

There is a crucial difference between saying how much you like a person (which makes you lose leverage) versus telling her that she is a likable person. See the difference?

Merely stating that somebody is terrific makes her feel great and makes you look great for saying it. It’s only the confident person who tells another how wonderful and terrific she is. Normally, we end up trying to “play it cool” and not wanting to show how we really feel, but lavishing this person with OBJECTIVE praise is completely different! You want to let her know that you think she’s great, but not that she is your whole world and that you can’t live without her. The fastest way to lose leverage and to lose someone that you like is to do the opposite of the above.

Until next time…

Mark Aguirre
Killer Confidence
Los Angeles