The Lost Art of a Conversation
Posted on January 14, 2013 by David Nye, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.
With social media today, have we lost the art of a good conversation?
It never ceases to amaze me how everyone has come to rely on social media to stay in touch with people. You might consider this newsletter utilizing a form of social media. I bet you wonder some days how we ever survived without email, cell phones, and Facebook. Back in the day, I remember we actually had to have face-to-face contact with others to have a really meaningful conversation. We’ve somehow lost the fine art of communication along the way…
I was sitting in a meeting the other day for several hours. During a lull in the agenda, I took a glance around the room at others to see what they were doing – low and behold, almost everyone had their faces glued to their Blackberrys or iPhones. Some were texting, checking email, while others were probably tweeting their friends to let them know how boring the meeting was. No one was talking, or for that matter, looking at one another! Here we were, a room full of talented professionals, and not one was making an effort to network with the others in the room. Go figure!
Now, I realize that cell phones and various forms of social media have become a daily part in our lives. I use several media applications myself – these things can be pretty cool indeed! They make it convenient to stay in-sync with family, friends, and business colleagues. But all these cool devices and applications are just tools!!! They cannot replace a smile, a cup of coffee, dinner at a fine restaurant, or beers at a favorite local pub. I can remember when companies had travel budgets so employees could meet other team members, and collaborate on solving issues. Now everything is done via conference bridge or web meeting with no face-to-face contact at all. Sure it saves money from the bottom line for the short-term, but does it benefit our relationships for the long haul?
I was talking to an old co-worker, and friend of mine not too long ago, and we were talking about this very same subject. He mentioned that he previously had a boss for five years, and never met him. Can you imagine reporting to someone remotely, and never meeting face-to-face for five years?
For your sake and mine, the next time you are crafting an email, instant message, or tweet, stop and ask yourself the following questions:
When was the last time we met in person?
How easy would it be to have a face-to-face meeting?
Would the desired outcome be easier to obtain after a personal meeting?
My point here is that social media cannot replace a good old face-to-face conversation. The next time you start an instant message or email, stop and think…is this the most effective way to communicate with this person today?
