When Pain Is Worth The Gain

Posted on December 19, 2012 by Kim Renee Cote ECPC, One of Thousands of Life Coaches on Noomii.

“Crushed” he said, as he scrunched up a dixie cup, in his right hand for effect. I stared at the orthopedic surgeon through eyes blurry from pain medication. Words like “may never walk again”, “different shoe size” all were senseless when trying to filter through a foggy brain.

A horseback riding accident, had shattered my left heel into fragmented splinters of bone. A serious injury if I ever had hopes of walking normally again and having the same shoe size! Blessedly, I was a candidate chosen to do a study case – a progressive surgery that would, if nothing else, correct my feet to a matching shoe size!

The days, the weeks, the months of pain and agony were nothing compared to the fear of never walking limp free again. My surgeon had chosen his study case wisely. A young lady, full of aspiration to be a great rider, an avid outdoors and nature lover — I was a perfect candidate. A perfect case study. I was perfect, with much to gain.

And perfect, was he. Not my friend, my surgeon challenged me, pushed me, and drove me almost to the brink of insanity. Nevertheless and mercifully so, without this extraordinary surgeon, I would still be walking on a cane, at best.

So it was done. My life changed, my new ambitions were to walk again, past the crutches, past the point of my lovely wooden cane. And past, the heavy dragging limp.

My riding days were over…for now. But, my dreams were not. At 32, prior to the accident, I had owned the power of my life, and I sure wouldn’t be left behind now. As ordered by my surgeon, I hiked uneven terrain until the tears of agony fell unheeded down my cheeks. I enrolled in canine agility classes and later in competitions in order to force my will to run on a foot that didn’t function at half mark.

After about 1.5 years, still a heavily pronounced limp, I started riding horses again.

My road wasn’t easy. I ignored the snickers, the sometimes cruel actions or remarks from mankind, the doors that slammed in my face at the super market, or the slippery floors at a local shop that had the rubber on my crutches slip on the wet surface which had me tumble face down in the isle; where nobody helped me up. I ignored the looks of sympathy in the agility competition ring, and the looks of dismay on my rider coaches faces.

I ignored it all as I had a purpose and that purpose was to walk limp free again. And through this painful and often humiliating journey, I walked in the shoes of many handicapped individuals and saw, from that momentary space of time, from that living perspective, the way some of these individuals are often treated by folks that know no better. I was thankful to have been given this painful road as a life’s lesson.

I put my sweat, my efforts into becoming the best that I can be with such an injury. I empowered my entire will, and that of my tough-as-nails orthopedic surgeon, to not allow myself to be limited by statistics, to carry the badge of a large hockey stick shaped scar on my left foot in honor, rather than in failure. I wanted to power through my own perceived limitations to become all that I can be. I had 2 years. After 2 years, the calcium and the scar tissue would dictate how much mobility I had in my foot, which would, in turn, effect how much of a walking limp I would bear…through the rest of my days.

I worked and I worked and I reached and I reached and I never gave up.

Today, the results are in. The lady who hobbled through the training classes of the canine agility world, went on, within 2 years to attain Masters in Agility with her faithful canine whom demonstrated unwavering loyalty. The lady whom couldn’t get her ankle to press down into the rider’s stirrups of a saddle while attempting to ride a horse, went on within 7 years to become National Champion riding Cutting Horses, an adrenaline sport of speed, equine agility, mind and performance. The lady whom all odds were against ever walking limp free, can run today through mountainous terrain, wearing the same shoe size!

The pain of the shattered heel, was so worth the gain. Without this life changing experience, my life today would not be anything similar to the road of life that I am on today. I would not have become “me”. I would not have learnt the lessons that I was taught, or learnt the power of the mind to push through and never give up. I would not have the complete faith and spiritual awareness that I carry with me each and every day.

I am grateful for the blessings of the lessons that I have learned. I would never – not ever – erase my experiences, because my pain was worth the gain. – Kim Renée Coté