What the Heck is this Coaching Thing?

Posted on June 24, 2010 by Jennifer Yount, One of Thousands of Executive Coaches on Noomii.

When I introduce myself as a coach, frequently I am asked what sport I coach. When I ask, have you heard of life coaching, most people at least acknowledge having heard of life coaches. Unfortunately, that is where a lot of the understanding ends and the misunderstanding begins. In this article, I intend to address and clarify some of the misunderstandings and misperceptions about coaching and also discuss my perspectives on coaching.
So, let me start by talking about what coaching is not. Coaching isn’t mentoring and it isn’t therapy. When looking at the differences between coaching and mentoring and therapy, I will make generalized statements about the differences with each practice from my personal perspectives.
Then what is the difference between coaching and mentoring? With mentoring, the mentor frequently has a professional stake in your success and usually only focuses on your career and work performance. Coaching, on the other hand, is based on a whole-life and value-centered perspective. In coaching, it is believed your home life, family life, work life, and social life all impact and are dependent on one another. Because of this, a coach believes one facet of your life impacts all of the others and must be considered when you begin moving toward a successful, fulfilled, and value-centered whole life.
When discussing the difference between coaching and therapy, I believe therapy frequently focuses on your past or a significant past event in your life and how this has shaped who you are and how you react today. Additionally therapy may address underlying fear, shame, and compulsion and provides ways to release them. On the other hand, in coaching you are accepted and acknowledged for who you are today. Coaching also does not focus on “fixing anything” that is wrong with you. Coaching focuses on what is “right with you”. This doesn’t mean that areas of shortcoming are not focused on from time to time. However, they are focused on through establishing different perspectives and clarifying values.
Therefore, each of these practices, coaching, mentoring, and therapy may at any given time add a great value in your life. And each or all of these practices may have a place in your life and in fact, may and can complement each other.
A final and important distinction of coaching I would like to address is that many coaching sessions are conducted over the telephone. Although this may seem odd or unusual at first, telephone coaching is extremely successful and powerful. I believe telephone coaching shifts much of the responsibility to the individual being coached to express and articulate how he or she is feeling or what he or she is thinking. It also provides the individual with an almost limitless number of coaches since location and travel time is not a concern. Additionally, telephone coaching provides a larger degree of flexibility in establishing coaching sessions since there is nowhere to go to in order to hold the session.
Now that I’ve briefly explained what coaching isn’t, let me explain what coaching is. Coaching is designed to forward and enhance the lifelong process of human learning, effectiveness, and fulfillment. Coaching is a partnership focusing on taking action toward the realization of your expressed visions, goals, or desires. Through a process of inquiry and personal self discovery, coaching enhances your level of awareness and responsibility as the coach provides structure, support, accountability, and feedback.
Coaching also places an emphasis on individuals wanting to explore new directions and achieve greater success, balance, and fulfillment in their whole lives. Coaching explores and challenges old ideas, methods, and results. Additionally, it helps you define and achieve professional and personal goals faster and easier. Coaching is also about the whole person: it encompasses values and beliefs, goals, career, balance, fulfillment, and life purpose.
In coaching, the coach focuses on the individual’s success and fulfillment in leading a value-centered whole life. In doing so, coaching is without judgment or opinion. You may ask what good is the coach then. Let me explain, first, when we have been judged and judged ourselves for so long, there is a relief with being present with someone who does not judge us. And second, although the coach’s thoughts and ideas may be of value to you, their opinions are not. A coach will provide you with a structure allowing you to develop a direction based on your defined values and beliefs while achieving your defined success and fulfillment, not theirs or those of conventional thinking and practice.
For coaching to be successful, it depends on what you, as the individual, bring to the coaching relationship. That means you need to bring a high level of commitment, energy, and preparedness to achieve greater learning and growth. As an individual, you also will need to be highly motivated to develop your own definitions of whole-life success and fulfillment. Each coaching relationship is then customized to achieve your specific needs and aspirations.
Additionally, as stated by my coach, ‘Coaching is an extraordinary conversation, not an ordinary conversation.” And yes, it is. There are several reasons I feel it is necessary to discuss this. First, in coaching, there should be an expectation that the coach will intrude and blurt their thoughts and intuition. Although, intrusion is considered in most social conversations and cultures to be rude, it is not in coaching. As stated in Co-Active Coaching, intruding often points the individual in a specific direction. Intruding also permits the coach to share his or her intuition or curiosity which in turn allows the individual the opportunity to honestly assess and immediately deal with a situation. And sometimes the intrusion is an opportunity for the coach to express a hard truth to the individual. And second, I find individuals often get caught up in “the story.” Frequently, it’s a story they have played over and over again in their heads. It can become a script and it does not serve them to say or hear the “same old story again.” The coach’s responsibility is to move the individual forward and this means stopping the old story and working with the individual to create a new story based on their values, vision, and goals.
Another aspect of coaching is that many coaches work with a specific customer niche. Most of you have heard of life coaches. This is a term used by many coaches. However, there are coaches that focus on a variety of niches, including leadership, wellness, executives, and spirituality, to name a few. So, when selecting a coach, there are several options, the first is to find a coach specializing in the area you want to improve or change in your life, such as wellness. Another option is to research and identify possible coaches based on their background and experience that have shared experiences or background with you or have the background and experience you believe will benefit you in your learning and growth.
Now, I would like to address briefly coach training and certification. Like many coaches, I attended and was certified through an accredited professional coaching training institute. My training toward certification spanned more than a year. Additionally, this training also met International Coach Federation or ICF certification standards. Why do I bring this up? To become ICF certified, a coach must meet minimum professional coaching standards and training and adhere to a code of ethics and confidentiality. Additionally, ICF is the leading global organization dedicated to setting and regulating high professional coaching standards. As you begin your search for a coach, inquire into their certification process and if they meet the ICF minimum professional and ethical and confidentiality standards.
Finally, if you believe coaching is for you, I urge you to “test drive” a potential coach and request a free sample session. Determine if you and the coach are a match for each other.
So, the question now is, is coaching right for you? Here’s what I would say, if you are an individual seeking to gain insight into how to BE more effective and accelerate your professional and personal life and growth, then I believe coaching is for you. Additionally, if you are interested in establishing and maintaining values and beliefs as a priority; gaining a greater balance between your professional and personal life; inspiring yourself and others; improving your communication and interpersonal skills; setting motivating goals; and/or taking action and getting better results, then coaching is also for you.
If coaching is right for you, then go find a coach today!!