From Runaway Coaster to Lame Merry-Go-Round

Posted on December 06, 2012 by Mike Nachman, One of Thousands of ADD ADHD Coaches on Noomii.

Ever feel like your life is on a runaway ADHD roller coaster?

You wake up in the morning, wipe the sleep out of your eyes, and start your day. The coaster starts its long, slow crawl up the first drop. As you get to the top there’s that moment where you can look around. You see miles in every direction, and just as you start to focus on something; Wham! The coaster kicks forward. Whoosh! The once clear line of sight for miles around is gone. You are now flying 100 mph by every detail of your life.

Roller Coaster=Blurred Details

Roller coasters can be fun. We get that sense of nervousness. Our palms sweat just a bit (some more than others,) and at the first drop our once nervous stomach is filled with a tingle. The screams that exit our wide open mouths are those of fear and enjoyment.

But what happens while we’re on the roller coaster? Do we see the little kid on the ground below stomping his feet because his dad didn’t win him the teddy bear? Do we see the young couple kissing behind the bushes? Do we see the theme park employee selling ice cream? Do we notice anything other than our instantly satisfied sense of enjoyment?The answer is no.

We don’t see any of that because everything moves by way too fast. And sometimes we don’t want to go slower because what we are doing is allowing us not to notice things we don’t want to notice.

Moving fast is the same as the three year old hiding under a blanket, “If I’m covered they can’t see me.” When we move fast and don’t think the things we are flying by still exist, we are simply choosing not to see them.

Loops of the Coaster

I’ve worked with many clients that have their minds dead set on keeping the loops. One past client of mine was a golfer. He insisted that he couldn’t follow a process or create a set of steps, keep with the steps, and ultimately accomplish an ongoing task in his life.

This particular client was late for everything. He would get lost in life’s daily activities, and at times trapped with the most stimulating things that captured his mind, (alcohol, drugs, and the ladies.) He literally flew through life by the seat of his pants, and loved the big drops, but when his coaster hit a loop; he curled up like a confused animal and shut down. If he was late for an appointment, he simply wouldn’t go. He didn’t call to let the person he was meeting know; he just wouldn’t show up. The loops got the better of him, and he’d dive head first into the steep drops to take his mind off the confusion.

The Lame Merry-Go-Round

The roller coaster has the exciting drops and the bewildering loops, but it has to stop at some point. Maybe it’s when you rush through your day and put off paying the electric bill. I’d say your coaster would come to halt the next month when you get a bill saying you owe double and in some cases you would even ignore that one because it’s forcing you think about something you just don’t want to face.

The only way around living your life on a roller coaster is to get off, and walk towards the lame merry-go-round. You grab onto the horse’s collar, put your feet in the stirrups, and hoist yourself up. The music starts and the merry-go-round begins to move. Immediately you notice something.

You realize that you are seeing the kid angry at his dad. You see the young couple kissing behind the bushes. You also realize that if you miss a detail, all you have to do is wait and catch it when you go back around.

The merry-go-round has no loops, and big drops. It only has a steady and consistent motion that’s slow enough to capture life around you.

Giving Up the Loops and Drops

It’s not easy to change. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do, and for the ADHD individual it can be mind boggling.The golfing client of mine insisted he was okay the way he was, and even if he wasn’t, no scheme, plan, or process would ever stick. He said, “I’m just not the type of person to stick with a process long enough for it to sink in.”I smiled at my client and told him to grab a golf club and three golf balls from the trunk of his car.

We walked out behind my barn. My client dropped the golf balls on the ground, and I readied my pen and pad, “Okay, what’s step number one?” He looked at me like I’d spoke in a strange foreign tongue. “Go on,” I prodded, “What’s the first step you take when you hit a golf ball.”

In the end he had 10 steps to simply hit one golf ball. Every single shot he made on any part of a golf course he would go through the same set of steps. He hit the first two balls by verbally talking through the steps, but on the third one, I stopped him at his 9th step. That was his practice draw back. He would raise his club back like he was going to hit it, and it was used to mentally prepare him for the actual follow through stroke.

“What do you mean? I can’t do step nine?”

I shook my head and watched him shank the ball out into the woods. I turned to him, “So, do you still think you can’t follow a process and stick with it?” All I got was smile, but it’s all I needed.

Why the Merry-Go-Round?

The merry-go-round gives us a sense of things a roller coaster doesn’t. It gives us a clear few moments in time to observe, notice and think. We know exactly where the ride is going so we don’t have to worry as much.

Being ADHD doesn’t mean you’re stuck having to fly through life because of the huge drops, and it doesn’t mean that you have to panic and freeze when you go into a loop.If you take the time and learn about the merry-go-round, you can watch the drops occurring off in the distance from a different ride. You can prepare for the loops because all of them have been planned for.

Call me to learn about getting off the roller coaster. Aren’t you tired of the huge drops and loops?

I’m waiting by the merry-go-round.

Do you have your ticket ready?