Making Room For an Intimate Relationship!

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Trudy-Ann Ewan, One of Thousands of Spirituality Coaches on Noomii.

Now that you have declared that you have available closet space, how do you make more room for that perfect relationship to enter your life? We all can have available closet space, but how much room do we really have available? Have you found yourself just starting a relationship and it looks great, but one day you wake up and realize that the relationship is not moving fast enough for you or it is not moving at all. Now you are saying to yourself, “Ok, this is a waste of my time. It’s not going anywhere.” So we end it and begin another one. This one may go a bit longer and deeper, but the same thing happens again.

It is enough for us to get frustrated over and give up on the whole relationship game. We may begin to feel so disheartened that we begin to believe that relationships are a joke. But that is far from true. Although we may have available closet space we still need to make room in our love closet. Some of us do not realize that we have allotted only a small closet space for our love relationships to reside in. What prevents us from making room in our closet even though we may have someone to share closet space with or we desire more in our lives in the way of a serious, committed relationship with someone else?

If you have been single for a very long time and are use to doing your own thing, you may feel fearful of sharing your life with someone else. While it is quite possible that you are not ready for a relationship with someone else, you need to look at your willingness to share if you feel that you are ready for a relationship, but none is coming or staying. Maybe by taking a deep look at where you are in your life emotionally, you will realize that you are really not ready for a relationship at this time. Another big reason why we do not have enough closet space is Fear.

The fear of commitment puts the scare of death into a lot of us. We may have an outdated model of what commitment is. We saw marriages and other relationships go sour and we see how people were unable to be themselves in their relationships. We fear that we may lose our individuality. We also fear rejections. It is hard to open up our hearts to someone only to have them walk away from us. Unfortunately, we do not have any control over the actions of others. We may not even have control over ours especially if we are forcing our lives. Feelings are feelings and we need to be in the moment. Things may never go long-term, but wouldn’t it be great to experience some happiness than none at all. Everyone would love to have some happiness instead of having to go through life being miserable and unhappy.

Some of individuals still have a relationship with their Exes. One need to figure out what is the reason they are still in touch with their Ex. However, if you are still in contact with your Ex with the secret hope of getting back together then you will have a not available sign over your head for any potential love interests. You maybe wondering why that person won’t make a move. While there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with your Ex, respect for your new relationship is key. If your relationship with your Ex is causing problems in your new relationship, then a decision needs to be made regarding which relationship is more important to you. Believe it or not, we do emit certain energy vibration that sends a message regarding our availability to others. Having closure with past relationships is very important if we want to open up closet space in our life.

We are all familiar with the expression “having relationship baggage”. This is the baggage that is filled with all the clothes from past relationships that we haven’t unpacked and they need to be laundered, ironed and put away. Some of the clothes we can give away to the Salvation Army, others we can put away as reference and the rest we make sure that they no longer fit us, are old and raggedy and then we throw them into the garbage. If our relationship baggage is still packed and sitting in a corner we will have an unavailable air about us and we definitely won’t have room in our closet for a new relationship.

For those of you already in a relationship you too can be lacking in available closet space. Have you really opened up yourself for your mate to share your closet space? A common problem in many relationships is that one or both individuals are closed off and they are afraid or reluctant to open up. Opening up does not necessarily mean sharing details with each other. It means clearing up any old issues, past hurts from past relationships, family issues and even programmed outdated behaviours and mentalities.

Still acting single although you are with someone is not having available closet space. If you are still thinking mine and theirs then you definitely do not have closet space. Any relationship is about two people not one. So if one person is giving more than the other person all the time then for both individuals there is not available closet space. Any healthy and mature relationship needs to be on equal footing with each individual giving, receiving and sharing and not seeking his or her own personal gratification. That is the ultimate sharing of available closet space.

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